Nationals Inquisition

 

Adam Kennedy – Second Base, originally uploaded by Timmer82.

Nationals.com says the Nationals, only hours after being rejected by second baseman Orlando Hudson, have come to a deal with 34-year old second baseman Adam Kennedy although the terms of that deal are unknown and the team has yet to officially announce it.

Kennedy is coming off a comeback year in 2009, hitting .289 with 11 home runs and 63 RBIs for the Athletics. He only played in 202 games the two previous years due to injuries so Kennedy is yet another player you probably have to keep your fingers crossed about. This move puts Kennedy at second base, Cristian Guzman stays at short and Ian Desmond to the Minors to start the season.

Well, that settles the 2010 second base situation. Kennedy wasn’t who the team preferred nor is he the strongest option, but if he can remain healthy and maintain his 2009 numbers, he should do just fine for a year or two.

No team pays that much attention to second base anyways. We’ll probably forget he is even there. It’s sort of an obsolete position.

Usually teams just use robots at second base these days.

This off season has been pretty interesting for the Nationals. They cut a lot of dead weight and pulled in some players that would fill some needs, but there hasn’t been a signing or move that would be considered the icing on the cake. GM Mike Rizzo and the Nats were hoping second baseman Orlando Hudson wearing a Nationals uniform would be that high point of the off season. Hope is something new to Nats fans, but visions of Hudson at second base at Nationals Park gave them that hope that maybe things will be better in 2010. With players like Nyjer Morgan and Adam Dunn tempting Hudson with bonds of friendship and the local media saying the Nationals were the frontrunner for his services and Hudson actually wanted to be in D.C., really all that needed to be done was sign the contract and Hudson would be in all our hearts.

Well, Hudson is in our hearts– and he just took a big crap right next to our left ventricle. Orlando Hudson is going to Minnesota. Rotoworld.com:

A baseball source tells Bill Ladson of MLB.com that Orlando Hudson will not sign with the Nationals and is most likely headed to the Twins.

Ladson writes that a deal is almost done with Minnesota. The Nationals were hoping that Hudson would fall to them at a low-base salary, but all things being equal it makes more sense to play with a winning club in Minnesota, even with a similar guarantee. Hudson, 38, batted .283/.357/.417 with nine home runs and 62 RBI last season and figures to be a fine upgrade over Nick Punto at second base.

Now the rumor is the Nationals will try to woo Adam Kennedy to come play in the Nation’s Capital even though Kennedy well knows he is sloppy seconds and the Nats really wouldn’t prefer him. I don’t think Hudson would have been world beater for the team, but he certainly would have made that line-up a whole lot more dangerous looking and would have been further proof of the commitment ownership has to this team. The NQ wouldn’t have paid Hudson the $9 million he was asking necessarily, but don’t the Nats know about haggling and dealing? Obviously they haven’t been to Chinatown, NY.

Now, moves like Kennedy seem lackluster and pathetic with the knowledge you have tried for two straight years to pull in Hudson, but failed. It’s not the end of the world, but for Nats fans it is a shot in the gut and the hopes of something better. 

I’m getting that sinking feeling again.

Must have been the tacos.

Looking ahead to the future, the way distant future, a messiah has already been foretold by the baseball gods and various baseball stat jockeys and he is 17-year old catcher Bryce Harper. Harper graduated high school two years early so he could be available for the 2010 MLB Draft– which is this year and the Nationals once again have the top pick. From what we have been hearing, this kid is the love child of Mick Jagger and Godzilla. He is already being called the best prospect to enter the draft– ever.

Yeah, like Nats fans haven’t heard that somewhere before. There is some debate on whether or not he is as good as he seems to be and whether or not Major League teams should bust the bank for such young and unproven players, but I have to be honest when I say I popped a woodie when I watched this:

Damn. I mean damn. There is some bat on that kid. Harper is currently starting his college season with College of Southern Nevada and has had his ups and downs as told by this Sports Illustrated article, but though he is out in the desert playing thousands miles away, you can bet your potootie the Nationals are keeping a close eye on this young man and whether or not they need to invest in barrels of face paint. Jesus, he looks like the Ultimate Warrior.

If he is anything like the Warrior, I expect his interviews to go something like this:

王建民，（英文名 Chien-Ming Wang, originally uploaded by Solana：來自東方的風.

The Nationals are keeping their eye on free agent starting pitcher Chien-Ming Wang (Insert penis jokes here and at random throughout this post) says Nationals.com. Wang had arthroscopic shoulder surgery in late July, however, when healthy, Wang has the potential to be a 19-game winner. The Nationals are not the only team looking at Wang nor have they officially approached Wang’s agent, Alan Nero. Wang assures everyone that he will soon be back to 100% (in possibly three months) and that he will stop eating baseballs for marketing amusement.

The NQ saw Wang in action last season during Spring Training and he was absolutely dead on with his pitches that day. We liked what we saw. We also liked the legion of hot Taiwanese chicks that followed him around brandishing homemade posters and Taiwan flags and banners. There are marketing demographics to be reached there, both for Taiwanese women and perverts.  If the price is right, the risk might be worth it– signing Wang to a deal, I mean.

Ugh, it makes me mad because I had a whole bunch of Wang photos from that Spring Training game, but our other computer ate them. I mean, totally gobbled it.

So now you can’t see my Wang pictures.

I am sure you are totally beside yourself in disappointment.

  

shrek, originally uploaded by Boston Wolverine.

Nationals.com reports the Nats have signed 32-year old John Mcclane outfielder Kevin Mench to a minor league deal with an invite to Spring Training. The Sixth Sense star Mench played in Japan for the Hanshin Tigers last season. Mench, who rocked in Pulp Fiction as Butch, is most noted for his time spent on the Texas Rangers– which in itself is amazing because I didn’t think anyone paid attention to that team to note it.

Mench, who wore orange spandex in the Fifth Element, is also the owner of a Size 8 head which makes his noggin’ one of the largest, if not the largest head in the MLB. The Nationals are getting quite the collection of characters together for 2010. I wonder if they’ll allow us to feed the players peanuts after they spray them off with a giant hose?

Yippee-Ki-Yea!

I took the weekend off so I know a lot of this you all already know. But where would you be without the cheeky, cynical analysis we provide for you? Probably on the streets doing drugs and committing violence. The NQ is your anti-drug. We should be included in those commercials. You know, the ones where they crack eggs into pans and ask if there are any questions. Or maybe the ones where the father walks into a kid’s room with a cigar box full of paraphernalia and finds out that his kid is a bonehead because he learned it from watching his parents.

That is probably how my kids are going to learn about the NQ. They’ll pick up the nasty habit from me. It is the parent’s fault.

I’m not sure where I was going with this post. I just wanted to get something posted before the next batch of winter weather hits the mountain and the internet signal goes haywire. Sorry for the lack of creativity. If you use anything to excess you are risking problems.

Let’s just get this post DUNN.

Adam Dunn Needs An Extender - The Nationals and slugger Adam Dunn have begun the first steps in discussing a contract extension although the big bear-like outfielder says they are basically at Step Zero in the process. Both Dunn and GM Mike Rizzo expressed their interest in each other at the Nationals Hot Stove Luncheon last week.

Rizzo is probably going to buy Dunn a giant chocolate moose for Valentines Day. You know, to “woo” him because nothing says I love you more than a giant, full-sized chocolate moose. While the fanboy in me says, “yes, yes,” the quiet and sinister baseball mind in me says, “I’m going to be horny at the trade deadline.”

Hudson’s Butt Is A Little Higher – I wish someone would kiss my butt like the Nationals are attempting to do with Orlando Hudson. In the period of about a week Nyjer Morgan, Adam Dunn and pretty much the rest of the team has come out with articles basically begging Hudson to sign with the Nationals. And all signs says he wants to except it all comes down to money. Hudson is looking for a payday around $9 million while the Nats seem to only want to offer him $3 million.

Actually, I don’t want people kissing my butt. Then everyone would see the Bob Short tattoo I have on my left cheek.

Nats Sign A Poet – The Nationals signed pitcher Miguel Batista to a minor league deal with an invite to Spring Training. Batista, 38, can possibly be either a reliever or starter.

That is great, but the more fascinating part of all this is the article refers to Batista as “a poet and novelist.” Some searching turned up some goodies on Batista and his writing career. This guy digs poetry and philosophy so you know he gets all the ladies. He wrote a book called The Avenger of Blood which now I really want to read. This guy is going to be top priority to meet during Spring Training this year. I write a blog, he writes books and poetry. We are brothers!

And Finally, (loud applause)–finally… – The Washington Nationals paid a visit to the Children’s National Medical Center last Saturday to bring the joy and happiness that only jacked professional ballplayers can bring. Manager Jim Riggleman, Tyler Clippard, Ryan Zimmerman, Nyjer Morgan, Josh Willingham, Jason Marquis and Mark Lerner were only some of the names you might recognize. 

The players talked and played Uno with the kids, posed for pictures and gave available advice about life, the big leagues and believing in yourself. However, the mood of the event drastically changed when after snapping the big group photo one of the kids turned around, pulled on Zimmerman’s sleeve, looked up at him and asked, “So which one of you is A-Rod?”

(*Audience laughing and applauding*)

And that is your Nationals Dispatch!

  

Girlfight, originally uploaded by PinoyPsychoPath.

Former Nationals pitcher Tim Redding went on Sirus/XM this afternoon and called out another former Nationals chump pitcher, Mike Bacsik. Redding claimed he believed Bacsik gave up Barroid Bonds’ historic 756 homerun on purpose.

“Mike Bacsik is a stand-up guy,” Redding said. “He’s a little quirky, but he’s a nice guy — means well. I think he wanted to give it up. And he can say what he wants in defense or whatnot, but doing the chart, I mean, every ball that Barry hit — the ball was center cut, right down the middle, fastball.

“You know, I think he was — maybe inside — he was thinking he was going to get a little bit more publicity and maybe, you know, some money out of it — appearances, stuff like that. But, you know, it is what it is.”

Though Tim Redding is throwing his former teammate under the bus like any swell guy does, I tend to agree with him, but I bet you’ll never guess who disagreed.

Give up?

Mike Bacsik. He chimed in later in a phone call to Bill Ladson:

“Obviously, I didn’t try to give it up,” Bacsik said when reached by phone on Thursday. “It was a 3-2 pitch, and the pitch before I threw a curveball that was just foul. Did I throw the ball good that night? No, but to say I tried to give up the home run I don’t think is very smart. I was fighting for my life in the big leagues. I thought I might get sent down.”

“As time goes by, stories like [what Redding said] will happen,” Bacsik said. “Tim and I had our differences. I don’t know what to say to that. Tim is not the first person to say that. I don’t want to bash Tim — there is no need for me to do that. My career is over.”

You know what? Who cares? An ailing down and out pitcher is calling out another down and out pitcher in the media. It’s sort of like Lindsey Lohan and Tiger Woods yelling the word “slut” at each other. There is no news there. Don’t get me wrong, I am convinced Mike Bacsik gave the homer up on purpose, betrayed his own team and has been acting like a meatball at sports conventions ever since. He should be lost and forgotten. But Tim Redding? Who is Tim Redding and what is he doing?

He’s keeping me up past 10 o’clock, that’s what. Thanks, Tim. Jerk off.

  

092709_7, originally uploaded by Shelley935.

Incredible as it is, this posting marks the 1000th posting on the NQ. Most bloggers would have something special planned for such a posting or would post something a bit more unique than the usual, but those other bloggers are better with arts and crafts than I am.

So for our 1000th post here, we are going to talk about, of all things, Livan Hernandez. I know. I used the word “epic” too.

Nationals.com reports the 34-year old free agent pitcher has expressed interest in returning to the Nats in 2010 and has even gone as far as to submit a proposal to the team. However, Livan apparently sent this proposal to Mike Rizzo back during the Winter Meetings and is starting to get a little disgruntled because his phone isn’t ringing off the hook.

“[My agent and I] sent a proposal,” Hernandez said. “I’m waiting for Rizzo to call me back, so I don’t know what’s going on. I called him a couple of times, and he never called me back. I want to go back to the Washington Nationals.

“When I call people, I would like them to respond to my phone calls and talk to me. Sometimes, it’s very disappointing and frustrating. … I want to show that I can help the team win. It’s better now by signing Ivan and a couple of more guys.”

…that is pretty pathetic, Livan.

You should probably retire when you even have to go to the worst team in the MLB and beg for a job. With any luck, no amount of begging will get Mike Rizzo on the phone either. The Nationals need to let the S.S. Livan pass into the night. A young core of pitchers are on the verge of coming to fruition and the team will need the spots open. Jason Marquis is on board for the veteran presence and there doesn’t seem to be one pitcher that isn’t excited about that. No one is talking about how great it was to learn from that grizzled veteran Livan Hernandez.

A 9-12 with 5.44 ERA in 2009 doesn’t help him either.

This reminds me of the time I applied to Playboy, Esquire and Victoria Secret saying that I would do anything to work there, even take the worst job: helping the girls dress and undress and picking out their little outfits. I am a glutton for punishment, but I wanted to work for those publications.

I am still waiting for someone to respond to my phone calls.

  

BLUE MAN GROUP, originally uploaded by Blue Man Group Brasil.

So last night I finally went and saw this James Cameron film, Avatar that everyone has been gushing about. It’s a sci-fi epic about humans warring with blue cat people. It cost me about $21 for two tickets and I have to say I didn’t get my money’s worth. I was expecting this revolutionary film with revolutionary technology, but when I got in there and put on the fancy little glasses, I realized had seen this already years ago, once in Chicago and once in New York.

It’s called the Blue Man Group.

I rather would have stayed home and blogged naked. So that is what I am going to do now.

Blog. Naked.

Orlando Hudson Is A Tease – Orlando Hudson says progress is being made between him and a team and a deal, but he would not say what team exactly that is. According to our files, the Padres, Indians, Mets and Nationals have all at one time or another been linked to Hudson although the Mets might be out of the running because they can’t unload their other second baseman because no one wants crap.

It’s another baseball mystery. I know what to do. We need to slap a deerstalker hat on Phil Wood, stick a pipe in his mouth and let him run around the Nats locker room trying to unravel the clues because you know, the Nats locker room is where it all happens.

Mark Lerner Abuses Optimistic – Mark Lerner talked to Bill Ladson via e-mail about the State of the Nats and remains optimistic for the 2010 season. He is so optimistic, he tries to use the word everywhere he can in the interview.

I think he is trying to tell us something.

Bad Baseball Team, Bad Music – The Dave Matthews Band and the Zac Brown Band will be playing at Nationals Park on July 23rd. It is the second concert to be held at Nationals Park, unless you count the visit by the Pope so it might actually be the third. I heard the Pope rocked the joint.

Ugh. Really, DMB? One of the most overrated bands in history. Only in America can you sing about eating and satellites to the beat of music that you’d kiss your sister to and still your called an “artist.” They need to bring cool acts to Nationals Park. I’m thinking exhuming Jimi Hendrix and the Rolling Stones and bringing them in for a show is a great idea.

Ronnie Belliard Is Fat – The L.A. Times reports that former Nats infielder Ronnie Belliard has been resigned by the Dodgers– but only if he weighs 209 pounds or less during some point in Spring Training. Belliard played a role in the Dodger’s playoff run last season, but the team is concerned about his weight and what added weight might do to his production. So it is lose it or lose it, for the one Nats fans called “Belly.”

I don’t know why people want him to lose weight. Fat people make life so much more entertaining and make people feel better about themselves. I see that fatty Ronnie Belliard walking down the street and I’m like, “Maybe my life isn’t so bad afterall. Thanks Ronnie Belliard!”

I just wanted to point you in the direction of an interview with Nationals catcher Jesus Flores over at MASN because, you know, Flores is a National and all and this is a Nationals blog. Also, it might help some actually remember who this guy is because it seems like almost forever since he suited up. He has been rehabbing in Miami from a shoulder injury all winter and looks to start baseball activities sometime next month– him and the 749 other professional ballplayers as well hopefully.

The Nats starting catcher position has been a role filled by the “Who’s Not” contingent of the MLB over the past few seasons. Names like Paul “Toast” Lo Duca, Johnny Estrada and Wil Nieves immediately make you cringe. There are probably others, I have just forgotten about them like everyone else. Jesus Flores has had some sprinkled starts in there, good ones too, but injury has plagued the youngster for pretty much the whole time he has been with the Nats. Flores on his most recent injury:

“I never thought that something like that was going to happen to me especially [after] a good start to the season,” Flores said of his most recent injury.

“It was hard to understand that injury is part of the game, and it can happen at any time,” especially behind the plate where collisions, foul tips, wild pitches, breaking bats and a host of other potentially dangerous moments threaten the catcher’s health.

“The injuries in the last two years of my career have been very challenging, mentally and physically,” Flores admitted.

“By getting through those challenges, I feel like a stronger player with the same optimistic outlook that I had before. I will continue working harder and with God’s help everything will be okay. I like to live in the present and prepare for the future, and use the past as a learning experience.”

This is a great attitude to have under the circumstances. The article is written with the usual positive fluff that accompanies the possible return of a ballplayer of his caliber, but should we be sugarcoating his return or should we say out loud what we all are thinking:  Is he the Nat’s new Nick Johnson and if he is, when is he going to go down again and should we be worried?

I mean, we can’t really blame Flores for Chase Utley being the King of Douchebags and taking a cheap dive on Flores like he did (and it was cheap). I sort of question the recent shoulder injury, because he was hit in the shoulder by a ball while behind the plate and wearing pads. How the hell does that happen? Aren’t those pads supposed to prevent injury? Were the pads made of Nerf? 

Ever since Flores was acquired during the Rule V Draft in 2006, Nats fans have been pouring themselves a glass of wine and hoisting it into the air to celebrate the supposed fleecing of the New York Mets and to welcome “the future” to Washington. Flores is young enough and talented enough to be a mainstay in D.C. and would fill a position the team wouldn’t have to worry about for years to come. However, over the past two seasons some fans are finding their glass is filled with grape juice. Flores has only played 198 games since 2007, barely a season’s worth of games. He has hardly been on the field. With a new core of young pitchers coming in, the Nats need stability at catcher. Long term success is dependent on that. A catcher/pitcher battery must know each other and be comfortable with each other and that isn’t going to happen if one or both don’t make it on the field.

This isn’t a posting to bash Jesus Flores. We love the guy at the NQ. He is exciting to watch and is a great asset to the team, but like all assets, they have to be in your wallet in order to use them. The Nationals need to stop putting faith behind “the feel good story,” “the comeback player” and the “fan favorites” and put more behind actual player production to keep the fan base interested. 2010 will be a telling year for Flores. Though we may love him, he may have that unfortunate quirk of being constantly injured and if that is the case, fans, team and Mike Rizzo need to recognize it early on and not drag Flores and the fans hopes through the mud. Shawn Hill and John Patterson come to mind. Any fool could see what was the problem with those two pitchers, but Jim Bowden strung those two along and took them and fans for a ride, singing to us, “Next year will be their year so go grab a beer and cheer!”

Those were some sad ballads to hear year after year.

Let’s hope we don’t have to add Jesus Flores’ ballad to the iPod list.