Nationals Inquisition

The Washington Nationals blanked the Atlanta Braves 3-0 last night and that is good and all, but that was really just icing on the cake as other dramas unfolded before the eyes of 40,043 fans at Nationals Park.

Those 40,043 had come to see Nationals pitcher Stephen Strasburg strike the hell out of some Braves prospect, but only minutes before the first pitch, Strasburg disappeared back into the catacombs of Nats Park and was scratched due to a small bit of arm inflammation.

So what does Manager Jim Riggleman do? He got on the big, red Nats phone and calls only one place to find his answer– the team chapel to tell reliever Miguel Batista he is going in.

What? Batista? Was Jim serious? It almost seemed a joke. Reliever, poet, novelist, Batista wasn’t the first choice on anyone’s list to come out and take the Stephen Strasburg’s place. It almost seemed an insult to the Natstown faithful and they certainly showed it: as soon as his named was announced as starting pitcher Nats Park rained boos down on him.

“Imagine if you go there to see Miss Universe and you end up having Miss Iowa. You might get those kind of boos,” Batista said. “But it’s OK. They have to understand that as an organization, we have to make sure that the kid is fine. You don’t want to expose him out there.

Great quote. Only a writer could come up with that on the fly and only a pitcher could put together the performance he did. With rumors of irate fans going to the Nats Ticket Offices looking for refunds and a trickle of fans leaving Nats Park for the Metro in early innings, Batista wrote poetry on the mound in support of the wounded Strasburg. The Poet pitched five scoreless-innings giving up only three hits, one walk and striking out six. Relievers Sean Burnett, Drew Storen and Matt Capps helped shut the door as support came from the bat of Ian Desmond and the speed of Nyjer Morgan. The Nats won in a surprising convincing fashion that even baffled the Braves– but of course, what doesn’t baffle the Choking Tribe?

They had two defensive errors and their prized prospect, Jason Heyward (who?) went 0-3 with two strikeouts. Maybe it is best Strasburg sat this one out because he didn’t miss much. The media was tagging this game Strasburg vs. Heyward but it turns out neither showed up for the event. With that Heyward line, Strasburg would have eaten him alive anyways. It would have been a boring night.

Miguel Batista impressed everyone, even the NQ who is more than happy to eat some crow with a bit of Texas Pete. Awesome job, Batista. They’ll be talking about this one for a long time. They’ll write stories and poems about this victory. Here, let me give it a try:

To the chapel they did call
The Mighty Strasburg he did fall,
And who did they send to match Hanson’s might?
The poet with a lot of fight.
Through boos, scorn and confusion he did pitch,
Five scoreless innings without a hitch.
The Nats won the day, giving the Braves a kick in the keesta
The hero of the day? The one and only Miguel Batista!

Nats reliever Tyler “Wild Turkey” Walker is out for the season with a torn labrum. He is expected to go see Dr. Frankenstein (Dr. James Andrews) in Alabama and not long after that go into season-ending surgery. Walker pitched in 24 games with the Nats and held a somewhat respectable 3.57 ERA.

Tonight, Natstown takes shots of the frisky whiskey in his honor and to his health.

Sláinte.

At 9:35pm on July 27,2010– Nats reliever Miguel Batista was the #1 Trending Twitter Topic in Washington D.C.

This in thanks to an impressive performance in place of Stephen Strasburg and pitching five scoreless innings against the Braves and some guy named James Heywood or Heyword or Jameson.

Whatever.

Nationals pitcher Stephen Strasburg was scratched from tonight’s game against the Atlanta Braves tonight moments before he was to take the mound at 7:05pm. Strasburg was in the bullpen throwing pitches, suddenly stopped, exchanged words with trainer Lee Kuntz and then walked back and disappeared down the runway behind the stands.

A barrage of boos was thrown down upon the field as Miguel Batista was announced as the Nationals starter for tonight’s game. Great. This game is almost a wash before it starts. Batista is probably a bit upset about it all.

Maybe he’ll write a poem for us about the experience.

More as it comes in…

UPDATE 7:27pm: GM Mike Rizzo said Strasburg was having trouble “getting loose” and his pulling was a precautionary measure. They will be doing an MRI and x-ray on his arm. No further details after that.

Great. There goes the last reason to pay attention this season. I might have to close the blog for the off season.

UPDATE 9:44pm: Rizzo reports that Strasburg’s MRI and X-Ray show only a little inflammation and he will be day-to-day.

Blog back on!

Ken Rosenthal and Jon Paul Morosi are “breaking” the story that according to a source, the Nationals have not offered any sort of extension in any form– not one.

“They’ve never made one proposal,” the source said.

Rumor has it the Nats might make a last minute proposal to Dunn who will either take it and stay in D.C. or ditch it and get traded. If true, the Adam Dunn Market is expected to get hotter which could work for or against the Nationals.

“Source.” I hate Source. Source is like the devil of sports writing: He is a liar, but sometimes he mixes lies with the truth. Take it for what it is worth, but supposing this is true, this doesn’t sound like a team that is really gung-ho about keeping the slugging first baseman. For such a valuable “anchor” in the clubhouse, the Nats seem more than willing to be risky with him.

Of course, Dunn isn’t necessarily sending the love back either with pretty steep demands and visiting opposing team’s radio announcers in uniform while your team is getting their asses handed to them.

Whatever the case, the Adam Dunn Theater continues…

–In Brief Relief

Formestane Junky Suspended – Nationals shortstop Pedro Lopez who is playing for the Triple-A Syracuse Chiefs has been suspended 50 games for testing positive for Formestane and not being a good enough Ninja to continually hide the fact he actually plays for the Nationals because now we all now know he does.

Bryce Harper looks like a werewolf in that picture. He really does. He seems only a few steps away from complete transformation. That should please his agent Scott Boras. It would only vindicate Boras’ abuse of wild adjectives to describe his 17-year old client who might or might not morph into a savage beast.

The number one overall 2010 Draft pick is already a “legend” in Boras’ mind and $cotty-B just can’t get over how absolutely mature his cash-werewolf is:

“He’s a legend in my mind. I’ve never seen a young man with that kind of power,” Boras said of Harper, who clubbed a program-record 31 home runs for the Coyotes this spring in leading CSN to the Junior College World Series.

Boras said the former Las Vegas High star comports himself like a pro player. Boras pointed specifically to Harper’s reception of the Golden Spikes Award, junior college’s top individual honor, and his appearance at the major league All-Star game as evidence of his maturity.

“He was gracious, he was professional, he was prepared,” Boras said. “(Other players and officials) couldn’t believe he was only 17 years of age.”

Wow, 17-years old, never picked up a bat in a Major League game and he is already a “legend.” I don’t think this kid’s ego has been stroked enough. Isn’t calling Harper a legend a bit premature at this stage? It’s like calling Brittany Spears or Hannah Montana a “diva” when we all know that term is reserved for people that have been in the industry and, I don’t know, have done things like Madonna or Whitney Houston.

Alright, that whole “diva” thing was weird…

Since when has going to the ASG been a sign of maturity? Am I mature if I go to the ASG? If so, then I am definitely going next year. Miss Natspenny is always telling me to grow up. I can’t wait. The minute I cross the threshold of the stadium the ASG is in I will be awash with complete maturity and raging manhood.

Really the only interesting bit in the whole article is this little tid-bit:

Harper, who batted .443 and drove in 98 runs for the Coyotes, was selected as the top pick of the draft by the Washington Nationals on June 7. He will not begin negotiating a contract with the Nationals until “three or four” days before the Aug. 16 deadline, in according with Major League Baseball standards, Boras said.

So a summer of hard negotiations with Mike Rizzo is just a crock of PR. All the magic doesn’t happen until days before the deadline– which was ultimately expected.

You have a little more time to wait before the next full moon, Natstown.

The infamous but mucho loved Captain Morgan will be throwing out the first pitch at Nationals Park this coming Friday, part of a nationwide Captain Morgan First Pitch tour where the good Captain has been hitting ballparks, chicks and throwing out first pitches.

Captain Morgan is the symbolic piratical character to a really kick ass brand of spiced rums and more. The real Captain Morgan was a thief and a fiend, burning down villages and going into battle using priests as human shields. That works because it sounds just like a Phillies fan and the Nats are playing the Phillies on Friday.

Other Nats blogs might not even give this a mention, but we here at the NQ applaud the Nationals and Captain Morgan in their efforts to get everyone in Natstown wasted.

It is like they are giving back to the fans and not only that, this weekend Nats fans are probably going to need a little inebriation.

The NQ took a much needed weekend off from blogging and sports activities. No matter how much you love something and how far you follow it, sometimes you just need to take a break no matter how wasteful, how weird or how utterly miserable things are in your sport blogging life.

That being said, it is amazing how little of the Internet I use when I am not dealing with the Nats, baseball and sports. I used like only two pages and wondered what the hell I could look up on the Internet. There just isn’t anything that cool.

This picture pretty much sums up my Weekend of Awesome. This picture sums up the Nationals Weekend of Suck. And this is–

Your Nationals Dispatch.

A Sad, Sad, Sweep - The Nationals were swept by the Milwaukee Brewers this weekend in a calamitous three-game series that had the strange, cold feeling of a steel nail being pounded into the 2010 coffin.

However, the good news is President Stan Kasten believes the Nats are closer to contending than it appears… *crickets chirping*

Donkey To Kitty? – With the injury to outfielder Magglio Ordonez, the Detroit Tigers are said to have a “great interest” in acquiring Nationals first baseman Adam Dunn. Of course, this situation will probably never happen as Nats GM Mike Rizzo is doing a Jim Bowden and asking for the moon while Kitty GM Dave Dombrowski said they will not sacrifice top prospects for a short term player– which Dunn would probably be.

God, they could rake. The iron is so hot for the Nats right now. Hotter than the sun. Too bad it must be as bright as the sun too because they Nats FO seem blind to the position they are actually in. Prepare for yet another Trade Deadline fail.

Riggleman In 2011 – The Nationals are expected to retain manager Jim Riggleman for the 2011 season. No official word has come down the pipes yet, by GM Mike Rizzo said Riggleman has done a terrific job and referred to Jim as a “baseball rat” and said he can never beat Riggleman to the Park.

Maybe Mike Rizzo can’t beat Riggleman, but everyone else in baseball seems to be able to. Look at the standings. We are still trying to figure out what is so impressive about a guy taking a last place team and making them a last place team.

Adam Dunn Is An Oriole In Disguise – You can find almost anything on eBay. For example, are you looking for a 2010 Allen & Ginters Adam Dunn game-used bat card with Adam Dunn on the front, but Baltimore Orioles Brian Robert’s info on the back? It is the perfect gift for the Beltway fan who just can’t make up their mind.

The bidding starts at $100 for this epic card fail or it can be yours for $750.00.

And that is Your Nationals Dispatch.

We can’t say there is any doubt anymore: The Washington Nationals is Stephen Strasburg’s team. He is the Commander and Chief, a general who climbs clay and pebble, takes the mound and his teammates follow behind him bearing their standard. “Look, there stands Strasburg like a stone wall! Rally behind the First Brigade, men!”

“When Strasburg pitches, we elevate our game. We have to because he is our horse,” outfielder Willie Harris said.

Maybe the Nats should hand latex Strasburg masks out to the rest of the rotation. Then maybe they could get some love too.

Strasburg led the Nats to a 8-5 victory Wednesday night (sorry, I worked all day yesterday in the bush so I am behind on posts) pitching five-innings, giving up three runs on seven hits and striking out seven. For the second game in a row the Nationals offense put up at least seven runs and ended the Nationals losing streak at four games.

Refreshing. Absolutely refreshing and becoming more expected. Strasburg has saved the Nats asses more times than Mario has saved Princess Peach. Federal Baseball has a nice little overview of Strasburg putting the breaks on losing streaks. And why not? Whether he is ready for the responsibility or not, this is Strasburg’s team and he will do what he wants with it. Technically, for the first time since baseball made it’s way back to D.C. in 2005, Washington has a true Washington pitching ace that instills confidence not only in his teammates, but the fan base as well.

As Strasburg exited Wednesday’s game, he was taunted by a Reds fan.

Strasburg left the game after Cairo’s hit and showed emotion after he walked toward the dugout. According to [Willie] Harris, a Reds fan was taunting Strasburg, who then said, “Look at the scoreboard.”

No need to, Stras. We know you got it. We believe in you.

–In Brief Relief

Livan Pummels – Livan “Orville Redenbacher” Hernandez pitched the 49th complete game of his career and Adam Dunn and Roger Bernadina both went yard in the Nats 7-1 over the Cinncinati Reds yesterday afternoon and latex Strasburg masks weren’t even required.

Phillies Fans Suck – According to Ben Goessling, the Nationals are taking steps to prevent a complete take over of Nats Park by the bum rabble from Philly during the upcoming series against the Phillies. Stan Kasten is sulking in the corner because no one likes his friends.

A Flying Donkey – As it says… a flying donkey. With all the Adam Dunn trade speculation, I’ve had this story on my computer screen for days now looking for an opportunity to use it. Ta-da!

Ken Rosenthal has tweeted that former Nationals closer Chad “The Chief” Cordero has agreed to a minor league deal with the New York Mets.

Oh God, Chief. Say it ain’t so.

Cordero was a fan favorite in D.C. and a monster closer for the team as he collected 113 saves from 2005-2007 and won the National League Rolaids Relief Man of the Year Award in 05.’ In 2008 Cordero was recovering from a labrum tear when, as with pretty much everything he touched, GM-at-the-time Jim Bowden soured the Nats/Cordero relationship when he announced on the radio Cordero was being non-tendered without even telling Cordero or his representatives first. Angered, Cordero moved on to the Mariners with little success and became a free agent just last week.

Cordero also spawned the flat-brimmed hat revolution in D.C.

The NQ loved this guy. He is still the only National to be immortalized by McFarlane Toys. Would we have liked to see Cordero back with the Nats? Maybe. It wouldn’t be any worse than getting all nostalgic-like with Livan Hernandez. Any team that can tolerate having Doug Slaten, Logan Kensing, Joel Hanrahan or Brian Bruney in the bullpen can certainly tolerate another round of Cordero. But, alas, he might one day now wear the pinstripes lite.

Screw you, Jim Bowden. Chief, come home. Omar Minaya does not love you.