Category Archives: Minors

Cole Kimball, Randy Tomlin And Andrew Kown Explain “The Towel”

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We’ve all seen it whether we were watching pitchers warm up in the bullpen before games, maybe out in the outfield at Nationals Park and certainly Spring Training in Viera, FL: “The Towel.”

You’ll know what I am talking about when you see a pitcher sets up and instead of throwing a ball, he has a dish towel or workout towel or a lucky towel and they go through their pitching motions with it without letting go. It is an odd sight seeing grown men whip the flimsy bit of cloth in the air with a “floof.” Ever wonder why?

Here is a news segment that was shot back in June where Cole Kimball, Randy Tomlin and Andrew Kown explain why they do it. Get a pencil and paper, these are trade secrets that will make you look like you know what you are doing.

That is what we do on this blog: unwrap the secrets of the universe.

The Sun Might Be Setting On The Hagerstown Suns

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The Washington Nationals might have two minor league affiliates in Northern Virginia soon.

Already their Single-A affiliate, the Potomac Nationals, are in Woodbridge, VA however the NQ’s crack team of reporters (who just Googled it) has learned the Class-A Hagerstown Suns have signed a letter of intent to move the team from Hagerstown, Maryland to Winchester, VA.

This all depends if certain conditions are met by April 17th such as funding for a new stadium.

In honor of this landmark move, the NQ has posted the video above (WARNING: Some foul language) of the Suns tying a cellphone to a balloon, releasing it while it was recording and then having it crash into a power line and have it blow the transformer.

If these sort of shenanigans continue, then Winchester is in for a real treat.

Harrisburg Senator Mascot Attempts Chicken Dance With Blackface Pig In Dog Collar

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Double-A Harrisburg Senator mascot, Rascal, was at a Polar Plunge recently to cheer on the crazy people who jump in the water at this time of year and drum up support for the upcoming baseball season. Seems innocent enough, right? Just go down there, sign some autographs, entertain the kids, be merry.

Rascal accomplished all that, but he added in a bonus: he attempted to chicken dance with a blackfaced pig that for some reason was spotted like a cow wearing a dog collar…what the hell is that? A Michael Myers cow-dog pig? Seriously bizarre. I am not sure what the artist was trying to convey.

Jesus, really? This is really all we have this morning? I’m talking to you, NQ Staff…really? Yeah?

Hell of a way to start the morning.

Mike Rizzo Tries To Be Brad Pitt And Signs Mark Teahen

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Last week the Washington Nationals shocked the world by signing pitcher Edwin Jackson (who shunned the Pirates to come to the Nats) and then flipped the bird to Philadelphia fans who still can’t understand why no one likes them. Everyone braced for a follow-up this week and it finally arrived Monday afternoon as the next logical step is of course to sign infielder Mark Teahen to a minor league deal with an invite to Spring Training.

Yeah, that Mark Teahen. He is still around. Last season, in 27 games with the Toronto Blue Jays Teahen totally Mendoza’d out with a soul crushing .190 batting average. He can play multiple positions however and is viewed as nothing more than another warm body trying to root himself onto the Nationals bench.

Really… Edwin Jackson to Mark Teahen. The Nationals certainly know how to run the gantlet of transactions.

Rumor has it GM Mike Rizzo got this idea after he read some book called “Moneyball” written by Brad Pitt who also recently portrayed himself in the movie of the same name. In the book, Teahen was supposed to become the next Jason Giambi.

This no doubt excited Rizzo and Rizzo looks in the mirror and thinks he looks like Brad Pitt so he put two and two together and waa-la!

We are lions!

Nationals Sign Rick Ankiel, Hopes His Billy Baroo Can Do It Again

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“Davey, this calls for the old Billy Baroo… Oh, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy…ha-hoo, Billy, Billy- this is a big one. Don’t let me down, Billy. I just signed a minor league contract with an invite…to…Spring…Training, Billy. Ahhhhh-ha-ha, Billy…”

While we are on this theme, have you heard the one about the Jew, the Catholic and the colored boy?

It’s a doozy!

Your Nationals Dispatch: Sick Day Make-Up Edition

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I’m probably at 90% health right now after a vicious night of fever hallucinations so bare with me.

Actually, don’t. I have enough to catch up on today as is. I could tell you all about all the zombies, butter monsters and how the trees all came alive last night, but you don’t come here for that. Let’s just go straight into–

Your Nationals Dispatch.

The Nats Are Sort Of Number One – Baseball America released its 2012 Prospect Handbook and would you believe it? The Nationals have the #1 Farm System in MLB. The team has made some extraordinary strides in this department considering just five years ago they were ranked dead last. However, the catch is these rankings were made before the Gio Gonzalez trade where they gave up four prospects so they probably rank a little bit lower. Updated farm grades will be released in mid-March.

So the Nats don’t really have the number one farm system and they will fall in the rankings, but I don’t think they’ll fall too far. The 2011 Draft Class was a monster and all they really gave up for Gio was two September Cinderellas, a good catcher and a pitcher that “maybe” will turn into someone someday. I am sure Mike Rizzo’s Tommy Bahamas are bursting at the buttons with pride just the same.

Mike Rizzo Wrote An E-Mail – Not long after the Nationals Farm System was named “Number One” by Baseball America, Nats beat writer Bill Ladson somehow intercepted a top secret, coded communication from Mike Rizzo to various scouts and developmental heads in the organization thanking them for all their hard work. The e-mail comes straight from Rizzo’s bunker hidden deep in the catacombs of Nationals Park.

Actually, he probably just wrote it on his Blackberry or something. I just added all that cloak-and-dagger stuff because it sounds a lot more interesting than it actually is.

Nationals Sign Chad Durbin – Remember when former GM Jim Bowden was accused of doing too many trades with the Cincinnati Reds and former team president Stan Kasten had a hard on for anyone from the Atlanta Braves? It seems Rizzo has a man-crush on anyone who comes from the Philadelphia Phillies. The Nationals signed reliever Chad Durbin to a minor league deal with Spring Training invite. Durbin appeared in 56 games with a 5.53 ERA for the Cleveland Indians last season.

Rizzo trying to get the 2008 Phillies gang back together? Now when they bus the animals down from the City of Brotherly Puke to Nationals Park it will be like riding in a time machine for them. WEEEEEEEEEE!1.21 GIGAWATTS!!!

John Lannan Wants His Money – The Nationals and starter John Lannan had an arbitration hearing on Wednesday and the results of the meeting won’t be announced until sometime today (Thursday). The Nationals were offering Lannan $5 million while Lannan countered with $5.7 million.

Oh, so a guy gets his nose busted in 2011 by a ball hit right back at his face and suddenly he has delusions and contusions of grandeur. I once broke my nose on my computer monitor after headbutting it after a particularly bad Nationals performance and do I get paid more for it? No. Now that I think on it, it was a John Lannan performance. THAT GUY OWES ME MONEY!

UPDATE: The Nationals defeated John Lannan in arbitration. Lannan will now make a measly $5 million in 2012. Poor, Johnny Boy. How will he ever feed Tiny Tim and the rest of the family?

And that is Your Nationals Dispatch.

Potomac Nationals Want To Be Closer To Ozzfest

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Oh Lawd…it is Monday, nothing is happening and I am absolutely sick. “Sick” as in physically ill, not “sick” as in totally awesome (which I am that too, but don’t like to brag). I’ve been chewing alka-seltzer tabs raw and trying to “sweat the cold out” by drinking brandy, putting on sweatpants and Nationals hoodie and turning up the heat in the lodge.

Being sick sucks, but then again it is good. It helps strengthen the immune system and it gets this sort of thing out of the way before 2012 Spring Training. Yes, finally confirmed it: the Nationals Inquisition will be in attendance for a fifth consecutive year. It sadly won’t be a full month blitz like in 2011, but you should expect the same sort of ST reporting about the games and times we do have. Right now we are down for these games:

  • March 7th vs. St. Louis Cardinals
  • March 8th vs. Houston Astros
  • March 10th vs. Mets (Split-Squad)

I will be bringing OddNat with me. It has been awhile since he and I went on a Nationals romp and we will also be hanging with Space Coast Legend, Rich The Mets Fan so who knows what debauchery we’ll get into and what games we might try and sneak into our schedule.

As I said, I’m sick and there is literally nothing going on today as of yet Nats News wise, but I just thought I might throw this out there: the Nationals Single-A club the Potomac Nationals held a Hot Stove Banquet at the Hyatt at Fair Lakes on Sunday and it was announced they were looking at the option of moving the team from Prince William County and I-95 to somewhere along I-66.

Currently the P-Nats play in Pfitzner Stadium (or “The Pfitz) which is an aging, rundown beer dive of a minor league park that everyone hates, but secretly loves because, well, it has been there forever. Sort of like the Constitution: people bitch about it all the time, but it is all we know.

Personally I would hate this because the NQ’s NOVA Headquarters is only 15 minutes from the Pfitz. But that is me being selfish. I’d still gladly drive up I-66 to catch a game or two, but I don’t look forward to potential traffic.

Can you imagine rush hour, a P-Nats game and Ozzfest at Nissan Pavilion all taking place at the same time?

That would be an interesting driving experience.

James Skelton Marks Another Nationals Move to Put Heat on the NL East

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The Washington Nationals signed catcher James Skelton to a minor league deal Monday afternoon.

The 26-year old hit .221/.360/.346 between Double-A and Triple-A in 2011 in the Cincinnati Reds organization. Skelton is a minor league traveler since being taken in the 14th round of the 2004 MLB June Amateur Draft by the Detroit Tigers. He has also seen time on the farm with the Arizona Diamondbacks and Pittsburgh Pirates. Look for him to continue his whirlwind tour of the Major League Farm System with the Washington Nationals as nothing more than organizational depth.

An interesting side note to Skelton is he was a 2008 Florida State League All-Star during his time with the Lakeland Flying Tigers but was unable to be included on the All-Star roster due to injury. The player that took his place? Wilson Ramos.

Yep, that is it. That is all we have in the tank. Absolutely nothing is going on in Natstown right now. Everyone is inside, boarded up, liquored up and bracing for what seems to be an oncoming storm. This literally is the biggest baseball news we’ve had in a week. REAL BASEBALL NEWS– regardless of how little it will actually impact the team and organization– it is REAL BASEBALL NEWS.

It feels good. You get tired of all the facial hair and silly Youtube posts after awhile. When a staff member passed me Skelton’s file and the news I nearly crapped myself.

I thought I discovered Atlantis.

(Photo from Pbase.com)

Danny Espinosa is a Dirtbag Going to a Dirtbag Dinner

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Yeah, I said it. Washington Nationals second baseman is a Dirtbag. A total Dirtbag. A screaming Dirtbag. And he is going to a Dirtbag dinner.

What a Dirtbag.

Espinosa is scheduled to be the keynote speaker for the 2012 Dirtbag Leadoff Dinner on Thursday, January 26, 2012 at The Grand in Long Beach to help usher in and grow interest in the 2012 season for the Long Beach State baseball team.

Espinosa was a two-time All-Big West selection at shortstop for Long Beach State, hitting .303 with 11 home runs in his three seasons with the Dirtbags. Espinosa led the Dirtbags to two NCAA Regional appearances, hosting the Regional round in both 2007 and 2008 before being drafted in the third round of the MLB draft by Washington.

Way to go, Dirtbag!

Espinosa is expected to give a speech on his rise to the MLB and will most likely mingle with the crowd. If you will be in the area and have interest in attending contact Long Beach State Athletics at (562) 985-4662.

I’ve been to one of these before at the University of Virginia in 2004. In hindsight it was the single most awesome and terrible night of my baseball life. The keynote speaker that night was Hall of Famer Cal Ripken Jr. and he brought his brother along, Billy Ripken. They talked baseball and hammed it up as we ate relatively decent chow. After dinner, Cal pushed back his plate and simply said, “So who wants me to sign something?” Of course, the whole place did and he stayed and signed pretty much everything and anything someone threw in front of him. Billy too. Class acts, both of them.

It was great. Ripken was and continues to be my favorite ballplayer of all time. It was a real treat for me to get two feet away from him and get a ball signed.

The bad part of the night took place a little earlier though and at the time I did not realize it. The UVa baseball team had an autograph session and gave out free posters to be signed. I went around the U-Shaped table and got every player’s signature, rolled it up, went back to my table and ate dinner. When I went to meet Ripken I left the poster on my seat. When I came back, the janitors and wait staff had already cleaned the table… including my poster.

Some time later a team appropriately named the Washington Nationals got a player from UVa who went on to the Majors. You know him. I know him. That is right: the great Mike Ballard. Of course, a few months after the UVa dinner another guy was drafted by the Nationals. Some third baseman who went by the name of Ryan Zimmerman.

So some janitor chucked my Ryan Zimmerman sig before Ryan Zimmerman was Ryan Zimmerman. He or she just tossed an item that I would’ve held dear and valuable into the trash just like that. That is why I toss as much garbage, waste and crap on the floor as I can anytime I am in public. The janitorial profession shall pay for my suffering.

So if you decide to invite me to your house or wedding it just isn’t me being a dirtbag. It is me putting my foot down for justice.