Nationals Cutlines – 8th Inning

We haven’t done a “Nationals Cutlines” on the blog in such a long time, but the NQ Apprentice, Dr. W, begged and begged and begged that one be put up again so here we are. For those of you just entering the theater, here are the rules:

  1. We post a photo.
  2. You make a caption for the photo.
  3. Post it in the comments on the blog or on Twitter.
  4. We post the best captions.
  5. We sit back and bask in the glory of such an original idea.

Today’s photo comes from Dr. W and is eerily similar to a Cutline in the past also involving Jayson Werth. He seems to dig the kids.

The Cutlines…

@stephaniekays: Look, kid, I used to have glasses, too. But I got contacts and grew my beard in, and now all the ladies love me!”

@ctatem: Deal, or no deal, I got CF this inning.

@natsfan20: “Werth: Howdy there! My name is Mr. Beard?” Kid: O.o

@jonfeng1: No, I’m not a real werewolf.

@sherry327: My mom told me never to talk to strangers.

@CaliTrappedinDC: “You mean to tell me that you have grass, and you do not eat it?”

@12stringr: Werth: Pleased to meet you Mr. President!

@TheNatidude: You must be Urkel!

I have to admit, the Mr. President crack got me laughing.

 

We Gave You The Werth Picture, You Gave Us The Capital Cutlines

We posted this on the Nationals Inquisition Twitter looking for captions and after a few hours of letting it soak like a crab pot, we posted it up with all the jokes, comments, zings, one-liners and cutlines that came from you– yes you. Or at least the ones that are on Twitter. This photo was taken by a NQ apprentice. Yeah, that is right, an apprentice. There is always two: a master and his apprentice.

Don’t worry. They don’t live long hanging around the NQ. They always fall into a pit or become Houston Astros fans or something like that.

I love this because now I don’t have to think of a punchline for this post. I just let you do it for me. I hope none of you who responded are under 15 because I think that breaks some child labor laws and I already run a sweatshop at NQ Headquarters so that might be bad. If you are under 15 just lie.

(If you have any of your own, feel free to comment with them here on the blog or hit our Twitter feed and I will try and update later.)

 

Nationals Cutlines – 7th Inning

Obama

(We haven’t done one of these in awhile, so let’s have at it. If you don’t remember how this works, here is a Nationals related picture. We shall provide a few colorful cutlines or “captions” for you, but you are welcome to write in and include some of your own. [Photo Credit: AP Photo/Charles Dharapak.])

“I thought the Nationals were in last place, not in the front of the line.”

“The guy in front of us is a little indecisive in his apparel. I wonder if he had the same trouble when voting red state, blue state?”

“Hey Joe, is that a cockroach on the ceiling?”

“My God, they misspelled the team name on his jacket! Just turn your head and try not to snicker as he walks by.”

“Cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger, wait, who is behind me?”

“They can wait. It’s not like they are McCain/Palin right? They aren’t going to have me blackbagged and waterboarded in Gitmo.”

Nationals Cutlines – 6th Inning

Gimme Gimme Gimme!, originally uploaded by M.V. Jantzen.

We haven’t thrown up a Cutline in awhile so let’s do this. Laugh at our captions or make your own –or else.

Chicken…we want chicken!

Show us your ti…oh, not yours!

We can’t see the game, get out of the way and stop peddling your dirty laundry here!

The Messiah! The Messiah! The Messiah!

Alright, who is going to catch me if I stage dive?

Nationals Cutlines – 5th Inning

“Is this one mine?”

“I didn’t know he was my daddy, let alone he played baseball until two hours ago.”

“He looks delicious.”

“Can I go over there and play with the Devil Ray kids?”

“I text this kid everyday telling him how happy I am to be his father.”

“He knows that when I beat up on his mom, I’m really just saying “I love you” with my fists.”

(Picture from MLB.com)

Nationals Cutlines – 4th Inning

I hope you know the drill.

“Do you remember when we played baseball?”

“WTF? AWGTHTGTTA? LMAO! CID… :0(…”

“Jim Bowden get rid of us?”

“Christ, white boy, you got some pearly whites!”

“It’s only funny because I’m wearing a fat suit and your not.”

“Larry F’n Broadway?”

“The playoffs?!” *Que Jim Mora

“Can you believe they fell for that leadership garbage?”

“That last post from the NQ was awesome!”

Nationals Cutlines – 3rd Inning

“I am beginning to train for my new job after I retire from baseball, so might I tell you about Foster’s new revolutionary Tupperware system?”

“You act like I am the only one that carries around a briefcase of Quarter Pounders.”

“Not only am I the hair club president, but I’m also a client.”

“You can play sudoku on my tie.”

“What does Marcellus Wallace look like?!”

“I think sunglasses on my forehead with a business suit in a darkened room is totally GQ material.”

“Deal or no deal?”

“And if you order now, you can get this great new briefcase and this Washington Nationals jersey absolutely free!

(Photo from the AP)

Nationals Cutlines – 2nd Inning

Caption, caption time. Read ours or come up with your own.

“Due to lack of funds, the Nationals had to green screen Austin Kearns into the outfield…”

“SIGN: Nationals, Show Me Your Boobies!”

“This color is slightly off from the Nats Park green I want my living room to be.”

“SIGN: BEER! NOW!”

“This portion of the field is under blackout restrictions by MLB.com.”

“If I can reflect the sun off into Teixeira’s eyes, maybe I can Green him to death.”

“SIGN: Scratch-And-Sniff this sign! It smells like Irish Spring!

Nationals Cutlines – 1st Inning

Welcome to the first inning of Nationals Cutlines. The game is simple: write captions for the posted picture. The NQ will always provide a few lines for your entertainment, but please feel free to comment and post your own. We dare you to be more hilarious and pointless than ourselves. This week’s picture comes off the AP and is by Pablo Martinez Monsivais from Daylife.com.

“I just opened up the Wonka bar and there it was. I can’t believe I’m going to the Chocolate Factory!”

“Can’t we all just get along?”

“No. I am not going to give up my GM job to become a news reporter so stop shoving your microphones and recorders in my face!”

“Unless these mics have meatballs skewered on top of them, I am not opening my mouth. They do? Okay, just one bite then.”

“I don’t understand what is wrong with the team. I have the playbook Omar Minaya left behind in the drawer in my office and I’ve been following it almost perfectly. I just don’t understand.”

“Wily Mo Pena is a force to be reckoned with.”

“Whoaaaaaaaaaaa!”

“I think I just made a poopy.”