Chicks In Philly Still Dream Of That First Jayson Werth Kiss

I know, I know…

Where have we been? Are we alive? Are we dead? Was the result of the Nationals 2012 playoffs too hard to bear? Does our planet needs us? All will be answered– later.

But first here are some photos of two Philadelphia Phillies fans kissing the NQ Apprentice, Dr. W, while wearing a Jayson Werth mask. Apparently chicks in Philly continue to want to make beard with Jayson Werth.

Basically, the story behind this is there is no story. One day Dr. W declares he is going to try and get some Phillies fans to come all the way from Philadelphia to Washington D.C. to give him a kiss while wearing a Jayson Werth mask. I was like, “Okay, knock yourself out.” With the Nationals out of the playoffs I lost the will to blog. He could have blogged about two tortoises having a three-way with Wilson Ramos’ cup and I wouldn’t have cared.

But a few days later, here we are– it has come to this. Incredibly he got two Phillies fans to come down to D.C. and show their secret devotions and inner-Philly fantasies. They drove all the way from Philly to prove it. Glory!

For their hard work and dedication, they get to make blog. Thanks ladies. To my apprentice: never wear that again. You look like a serial killer.

“Dude…This Is Unreal!”: Witness To A National Destiny

The following is a fan account from the NQ Apprentice known as Agent Dr. W about Monday night’s clinching of the NL East Division title by the Washington Nationals. Words and photo are all his own.

Keep in mind Doc was a complete nervous wreck all day. Like many of us he sensed Monday’s game was potentially epic so he was calling and texting me all day (like the text used in the title) yelling, crying, whining and doing barnyard animal noises all in some fruitless attempt to get me to somehow use black magic and guarantee a Nats victory. I told him they had a good a chance as any, they were in the right situation and I promised him the Pirates would win at least one game of their series with Atlanta. Back to point, he was close to some psychotic breakdown by first pitch. Here is his story:

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This Is What Happens When You Get Hit By A Jayson Werth Foul Ball

We hear about it all the time: some unfortunate fan got hit by a foul ball. Though we hear about it through the media and word of mouth, we strangely rarely know a person who actually got hit. It is sort of like a “Have you ever seen a baby pigeon?” sort of thing or actually meeting someone who actually saw Pink Floyd in concert in their heyday.

During the Nationals 6-2 loss to the Brewers on Sunday, the NQ had one of our moles in the crowd (our apprentice, Dr. W) and you can say his day at Nationals Park was a bit unusual as he earned a two hour trip to Urgent Care thanks to a Jayson Werth foul ball. The following is his words and all photos are his:

So back in March I received the Sunday Funday pack where you get all of the home Sunday games.  Today against the Brewers just so happened to be the last game in my Sunday pack and quite possibly the last game I will go to all year.  Unfortunately, my last game ended abruptly starting in the 3rd inning. In a game tied up at an exhilarating score of 0-0, Jayson Werth stepped up to the plate following a Chien Ming Wang double that ignited the “Natitude” of everyone at the ballpark. As Werth was battling to get a hit, he hit a foul ball directly to Section 136, Row CC, the very section and row I happened to be sitting in. As I watched the ball soar through the air right towards me, I prepped myself to finally catch my first ever foul ball. To make things even better, my first foul ball would have been from the man with the golden beard.

Just to inject some of my own stupidity to this posting, I love the “Golden Beard” description. I plan on home brewing some beer of my own and I think I’m going to call it “Golden Beard Lager” or something like that.

I reached out my left hand to make my best attempt to catch the ball, however it bounced off my hand and flew 3 rows back. I was taken aback by how much getting hit in the hand by a foul ball actually hurt as it jammed part of my ring finger. As everyone was making a big deal of how much it must have hurt considering the loud sound the ball made as it hit my hand, I noticed blood dripping down my hand. Due to the amount of blood, the Washington Nationals crew escorted me to the first aid room where they wrapped up my hand and determined that I would need stitches. They sent me back to my seat and eventually returned to give me a bag full of goodies as a way of saying “Sorry, this happened and we hope you feel better.” In other words: “Please don’t sue us.”

Here are some more photos of the post-carnage:

My day only got better from there. After the 4th inning, I exited Nats Park on the way to Springfield, Virginia to urgent care to get my hand x-rayed and get the webbing between my fingers stitched up. As I got to the emergency room, I was pleasantly surprised to realize that every single nurse there was smoking hot!  The doctor was a babe too! I almost found myself looking forward to having needles stuck in my hand and having them sew the skin between my fingers back together.

The NQ will have to send some official NQ thongs to this doctor’s office– as thanks.

Now I sit here with my hand taped up with stitches and all as my Filipino friend types what I am dictating to him. (This guy sucks). I am very grateful he is helping complete this post. Oh yeah, in case anyone was wondering, no I did not get the foul ball! Some people a couple rows behind us managed to receive the ultimate prize of a Werth foul ball that deflected off my now-injured hand and landed in their possession.  I have one thing to say to them: YOU’RE WELCOME!

I guess a thong should go to the Filipino friend as well.

Needless to say, Dr. W this morning feels like a million bucks and he is flaunting his injury and his goodie bag around headquarters like he came off a mountain with the Ten Commandments.

Free beer cups, pitcher, shirt, a playoff hat and a hard to find Strasburg Debut DVD, who wouldn’t be happy?

But I know what this is really about. This is Werth’s retaliation for the time he yelled at me to stop taking his photo, but I took one anyway. This is the Fort Sumter in the war with our nemesis. He can’t abuse our staff like that– only I can abuse my staff like this! This is war, Werth! War!

I do have to say I have been going to Nationals games since 2005 and Dr. W has only been going for little over a year and he has the most bizarre crap happen to him.

The Force is strong with this one– just not in the webbing of his hands.

Bryce Harper Black Label 2.0 Shirts Now For Sale– Again

Awhile back the NQ designed a shirt to show our support for Bryce Harper and our love for one of our vices, Jack Daniels Whiskey. We put the”Black Label” shirts up for sale in the NQ store and they were going like hot cakes before the company we were going through, Cafepress, decided to pull them due to certain rules and restrictions. After much debate and just utter disgust dealing with the company, we finally switched to where once again you can now score a Black Label 2.0 shirt.

To grab some swagger, you can visit our online store at Spreadshirt RIGHT HERE or click on our Shop The Inquisition image on the sidebar . You will notice the shirt is now cheaper which is always a good thing. Right now we just have men’s sizes, but we’ll have some other sizes and products up soon.

The old Nationals Inquisition Online Store is still available if you want to pick up some other crap to look cool at Nationals Park this season. The NQ shirts make great diaper wipes and tarps while at the same time they attract chicks like crazy.

So Here Is The Story On Harrisburg’s Josh Johnson’s Freak Out

Earlier today we posted a story on Harrisburg Senators’ Josh Johnson coming completely ape on a set of heckling fans at a game in Richmond on Saturday. As it is with these sorts of things, there are two sides of every story and we reported what we saw and it was a player being heckled to his breaking point. It is easy to cast it off as “hecklers suck” or “they were drunk and deserved it” but also, as it is usually with these sorts of things, there is a history.

Not long after the original posting the NQ was contacted by one of the fans that Johnson had it out with. We were asked to not use his real name as he is a loyal and avid follower of the Richmond Flying Squirrels and he doesn’t want to get deeper into this mess than he already is, but we’ll call him “Dallas.” I assure you, this guy is legit. Here is Dallas’ story via online correspondence:

“This is the third incident we’ve had with him in the last month or so. He got tossed from a game about a month back and was mouthing off with the umpire and bumped him. The crowd boo’d naturally. He got all bent out of shape about it while being boo’d and we had been heckling him all game. He comes by the net and flips me the bird and calls the older gentlemen to my left a racist and spits on the ground in front of us. He sat out the next game, but later in the series he was back playing, so naturally he was an easy heckling target.

This time he came up to the net flipped me the bird again and had some choice words for myself, and the other heckler to the left. Well, last night he had his parents in town who were sitting behind us. His parents took exception to him being heckled and got in on the mix as well. Security came down etc. Josh was pointing and yelling at us and eventually led to him coming up to the net in our faces calling us all sorts of names. He also came up in between games to just me.

But I have to say, I respect baseball and never did myself, or anyone else, make a racist statement. All we were saying is he is a cry baby… which as you can see, he is. He needs to learn to block the fans out of his head. He’s not gonna make it any higher if he can’t. For the record, I think he has a lot of talent, but he can’t react to the fans. There will be way more rude hecklers in his future.

Now we have the fan’s side of the story. Thanks for writing in Dallas to give us the goods. And who the hell says the Minor Leagues aren’t as exciting as the Majors? Drama, suspense, adventure…

I’m in the wrong business.


Beer, Baseball, Blogging And MASN

The NQ has just returned from our trip to Natstown, Nationals Park and an absolutely dominating performance from the Army of the Potomac. The Washington Nationals butchered the visiting Milwaukee Brewers, 8-0. Livan “Orville Redenbacher” Hernandez continues to make us eat crow by pitching nine shutout innings. Justin Maxwell had a 2-run bomb in the victory. The Nats played like a well oiled machine while the Brewers– played like the 2009 Washington Nationals.

Nationals bloggers were in attendance today, including the NQ, and our hosts were MASN during their Second Annual Blogger’s Day event. About 15 blogs were represented. MASN spokesperson Todd Webster and the stunning Kristen Hudak took us up to the booth to meet Rob Dibble and Bob Carpenter then to the MASN suite to take in the game and mingle. I was a bit tipsy by the 8th inning (a full layout of food and a fridge stocked with free beer greeted us) so I took notes. I wish I could have blogged from the suite, but there was not an available power source I could get to. But here is what I got:

On the elevator on the way up I notice I am standing right next to MASN sideline reporter Debbi Taylor. She is accused of asking soft and sometimes ridiculous questions, but this doesn’t enter my mind as I notice she is cuter in person than on television. She also has a monster rock on her finger. Damn. Anyways, she follows us into the suite where she greets us and tells us that the mood in the Nats lockeroom lately has been one of “we want to win.”

We are taken to the MASN booth where Bob Carpenter and a slick dressed Rob Dibble sit waiting for us. Rob has these huge shades on where you can’t see his eyes, but I get this uncomfortable sense that he is looking at me. They field questions.

When asked what has been the most important piece added to the Nationals this year, Dibble replied with one name: Pudge. Carpenter agreed. Pudge is held in the highest respect in the Nationals organization and even if the stats don’t amaze, the energy and passion he has for the game is worth it’s weight in gold. “It is a good problem to have,” said Dibble when asked if there will be problems at the catcher position when Jesus Flores comes back. “We have Pudge for two years and for those two years Jesus Flores is going to be learning from Pudge Rodriguez. I can’t think of a better situation for Flores,” said Carpenter.

There was a tense moment between Rob Dibble and Dave Nichols of the newly credentialed Nationals News Network. Unfortunately I did not catch all of Nichols’ question, it had something to do with back to back 100 loss seasons, but Dibble grew a little upset for he felt what he was saying was not being taken right. At one point an obviously upset Dibble goes, “And thank you for putting words in my mouth. I love that.” All air is sucked out of the room and everyone falls silent waiting for the Dibble Bomb to go off that never does. Did I mention he had on a nice suit?

Bob Carpenter says he will be ecstatic if he sees Chein-Ming Wang pitch before the All-Star Break in a game. He doesn’t believe the predictions of a mid-May, late-May return are accurate. Dibble believes that if he continues doing as well as he has, Drew Storen will be in the Nats bullpen in a matter of weeks and no one in the organization is in any rush to call Stephen Strasburg up to the Bigs.

Back in the MASN suite, Webster informs us that ratings so far for Nats and Oriole games are through the roof. He also said MASN is looking into getting more Harrisburg and Syracuse minor league affiliate games broadcast. Especially because of, what was his name? Stephen Strasburg?

Ben Goessling stops by and chats for a bit. Ray Knight comes into the suite and eats a hot dog in front of me.

Brownie points to whoever decided to put the really cute ballgirls in those knee-high 80s camp socks. Reminds me of my desperate, pubescent horndog days at Camp North Star.

During the first inning, Livan Orville Redenbacher did one of the coolest things I have ever seen in a baseball game: Craig Counsell hits a comebacker right at the mound and Livan just snags it out of the air and– waits. He actually holds onto the ball and looks at it like he is looking for dirt or it has morphed into a diamond in his glove. He then tosses it to Dunn and gets the out. Cocky, but suave, Redenbacher.

The rest of my notes are scribbled jargon about the game itself, but really not all that important. Justin Maxwell’s homer was an absolute centerfield bomb, Zimmerman definitely was watching running full out while on the bases due to his hammy and I giggled every time Steve from FJB called Adam Dunn “Richie Sexson.”

I also made an ass of myself. After a few beers I needed to use the restroom so I went out into the suite area concourse and asked an usher if I could use the bathroom. This sweet woman looks at me and goes, “Actually, sir, the bathrooms are in the suites.” I blinked at her a few times completely stunned and replied, “No, sh**?” This suite thing was totally new to me.

It was an absolutely fantastic time, thank you to MASN, the MASN crew and especially Todd and Kristen for being our bloggers babysitters for the day. The food was excellent, the beer was cold, the company fine and the game outstanding. I’ll have some pictures up from the game sometime tomorrow.

Now, it is time to get in bed and count the Nyjer Morgans jumping over the fence in my head.

Interview With Nats DJ Stylus Chris

Back in August of 2008 I was on one of my romps through Nationals Park, checking out the sights, looking at women and taking photos when I took a quick break off to the side at the Centerfield Gate. I was just looking cool and confident when I suddenly heard a nice beat coming from a small tent just off the Red Loft.

Walking over, I was surprised to find a man behind a turntable and graffiti-ed lab top putting out the most satisfying and funky sound I have ever heard at a ballpark. I snapped a photo of him and walked over to ask who he was. Removing his headphones for a moment he said, “Stylus Chris.”

It was the first time I met Chris Stiles, aka DJ Stylus Chris, and it was the first time I heard his music. It was certainly not to be the last time.

Perhaps you have seen him or more likely heard him scratching at Nationals Park already. Usually decked out in a Nats cap and Nats t-shirt or jersey, one might think Stiles is just a “paid head” who occasionally comes out to the Park to play some music and then go home. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Chris Stiles is a D.C. legend to the DJ and music culture of the city. He is a well-known and respected deejay among fans and peers, he helped open the now deceased but famous D.C. store DJ Hut and the parties that he puts together as a promoter have been called legendary.

He is also a diehard Washington Nationals fan.

The March 2010 issue of On Tap Magazine has an in-depth article on Stiles’ career as a musician which also includes a photo from the NQ, but we were a little more curious about Stiles’ thoughts on baseball. He is booked at the biggest party-zone on South Capitol St., after all and we always wondered: how  did he score the Nationals Park gig? Who wouldn’t want that job other than Felipe Lopez?

Chris took some time out of his day to have an e-mail interview with the NQ and we found that not only does Chris have a passion for music, but also for the sport of baseball. Nats baseball. The only baseball that counts.

NQ: How did you score the Job of Jobs: becoming Washington Nationals DJ?

CHRIS STILES: “Long story short, I was sitting next to a couple of the girls from the Marketing Department at a Wizards/Heat playoff game. It was the first year of the Nats, and we were talking about how they had an open slate to do things no other team had done yet. Only problem was RFK just wasn’t suitable. We kept in touch and when the new Stadium opened, they put me in contact with TD, (The Events Coordinator) and we hit it off. The Nationals Organization is very forward thinking in there approach to bringing people to the stadium.”

NQ: What are some of the perks of being a DJ for the Nats and performing at Nationals Park?

CHRIS STILES: “Free tickets!!! Good parking, good seats, mingling with the fans, being able to play music I love and seeing the reaction. Did I say free tickets?”

NQ: In your messages to us you describe yourself as a “baseball junkie.” What do you mean by that exactly? Do you consider yourself a Nats fan?

CHRIS STILES: “I love all sports. Of course, NFL Sundays rule. However, baseball is more than a sport. It is truly a pastime. It transcends the field. I could go on quoting “Field of Dreams” for hours if you like (my favorite movie and book “Shoeless Joe” of any sorts). My Great Grandfather was a local team Manager during the depression in West Va. It was the whole town’s way of relaxing on a summer night during extremely stressful times. American Culture today has so many different hobbies and such. But back then, it was baseball. It was the Blue Collar American’s nightly theatre. The crack of a bat is a beautiful sound (like a perfect snare on drum kit). I used to love the way my uniform would smell after a game. I actually can still remember my Dad taking me to buy my first glove and going out in the yard for a catch. Okay I’m getting kind of teary-eyed… to answer the second part of your question: I LOVE THE NATS!! Living in the DC area for most of my life, I have been lobbying for a team for years. I used to call into Sports Talk shows coming home from DJ gigs at 4am and go off about how driving to Baltimore would take 3 hours during rush hour. Baseball is a past time but that was just ridiculous!!!”

NQ: The sport of baseball is known more for it’s “Take Me Out To The Ballgame” cracker-jackish music. Do you think there is a future relationship between the game and your style of hip-hop/funk?

CHRIS STILES: “Absolutely. I would love to have the opportunity to do the music during the games. I still have a respect for the traditional. However, there are ways to bring a common ground with it so we can bridge the generation gap. That’s my philosophy when I DJ at the stadium. I like to take a “Classic” and upgrade it with a more modern beat. I have two good buddies who are producers/engineers (and baseball addicts) and if they let us get a hold of the internal music we would have the time of our life.”

NQ: What has been the reaction from Nats fans when they see you perform?

CHRIS STILES: “It has been great. Most people come by and give a head nod or thumbs up. Some stand around for 45 minutes just enjoying the music and checking out the gear. The kids ask if they can “Scratch” and then ask me to play something I know would get me in trouble…hahaha.”

NQ: Have the final word on what every Nats fan has been talking about. Stephen Strasburg: the real deal or not?

CHRIS STILES: “Who? Haha.. I really hope so. I believe so. I just don’t want to see him out there if he’s not ready. I want to see him excel in a Nats Uni for 10-12 years. I was going to be really disappointed if the Nats didn’t sign him last year. He earned respect from me for getting the deal done.”

NQ: Who is your favorite Nats player?

CHRIS STILES: “All-time Nat: Nick Johnson. Mr Baseball. He actually threw a ball to me during the inaugural season when he was having such a stellar year. He was coming across the pitcher’s mound and I was yelling “MVP, MVP”! He somehow found me in about the 10th row behind the dugout, gave me a nod and threw me a rope. I had a beer in my hand and it was a little high, but there was no way I was going to drop a ball throw to me by my favorite player!

Current Nat: Ryan Zimmerman. “Yo Zim, you gotta let me work on your music when you come to the plate!!!”

NQ: Are there any players that you know of that are a fan of your music?

CHRIS STILES: “None specific, but when we do promo events, they always seem to enjoy the music. There are several Caps and Skins that show up at some of my weekly club gigs (don’t want to name-drop) but they are extremely cool and down to earth. The funny thing is, I’m in awe of them, yet they come up to the DJ booth so humble and respectful, then say “hey the girl I’m with wants you to play…”

NQ: How do you think the Nationals will do in 2010? What do you look forward to the most this year?

CHRIS STILES: “I think we will be more competitive than people expect. I don’t think .500 ball is an exaggeration. We lost so many close games early last year, that set a bad tone. If we can be strong in the first few months, we will have a team that the DC area can be proud of and come watch. I look forward to just being able to continue what is my “Field Of Dreams” job and becoming more acquainted with the great Nats Fans!!!”

Special thanks to Chris for talking with us. There is definitely more behind this musician than meets the eye. DJ Stylus Chris will be performing once more at the ballpark in 2010. Definitely check him out. If you can’t wait, there is a ton of scratching, photos, performance times and sonic going on over on Stylus Chris’ Myspace page and on his Facebook.

A Buzz-In With Matt Capps

Matt Capps, originally uploaded by BradM..

The NQ and several other Nationals blogs got the chance to sit down and have an over-the-phone conference interview with new Nationals reliever Matt Capps this morning.

Below is a transcript of everything I could catch and write down. It was hard because I had to use something called pen and paper to write down responses. Apparently, reporters of old had to use these primitive tools to record their information. Old school. Like 1997 or something.

How important is it to you to be a closer more than a set-up man and are you prepared to go more than one inning?

CAPPS: The chance to be the closer was important in my decision in coming to Washington and I am not opposed to throwing more than one inning. If Jim Riggleman wants me to play shortstop, I’ll play shortstop. If he wants to put me in the seventh inning and have me pitch two or three innings I am going to do that. I am going to do what is necessary to help this team win.

What sort of advice would you pass on to young players like Drew Storen?

CAPPS: I think I’d tell them it’s a long season. It is a 162 game season, played in 180 days. It’s a grind. But the game is no different. The big leagues is just the same as the minors as college was really no different than high school. It’s the same game, same rules– just a little bit better.

Have you talked to Nyjer Morgan and/or Sean Burnett since being signed and do you look forward to working with them again?

CAPPS: Yeah, I am excited to see those guys again. I am excited to be here. Those guys made it clear they wanted me here and I can’t wait. I haven’t talked to them since signing, but I’ve texted them a bunch.

Are there any players you admire or can’t wait to work with?

CAPPS: I can’t wait to get to know everyone on the team. But Adam Dunn is one guy and Jason Marquis just signed and I think the pitchers and I can learn a lot from him.

Where you shocked at being non-tendered by the Pirates after just one bad season?

CAPPS: It was quite a shock. I knew there was a possibility but it was still quite a shock. But anyone who knows me or pays attention knows that last season was not me. But being a free agent gave me the opportunity to research teams and I found there is a lot to be excited about in D.C.

Did geographic location have anything to do with your decision?

CAPPS: My family is in North Carolina so that worked out well coming to D.C. But geographics was not a huge part in my decision.

Is there anything particular that Mike Rizzo said to you that made your decision to come to D.C. a lot easier?

CAPPS: I think Mike’s actions this off season speak for themselves. It was a no brainer decision for me.

Special thanks to Matt Capps and Mike Gazda for this wonderful opportunity and supporting the Natosphere.

A Talk With Mark Scialabba

In our final round of video clips from Blogger’s Day, we present Mark Scialabba who is the Assistant Director of Player Development and literally a walking encyclopedia of knowledge on the Nationals Farm System.

We met him during the first Blogger’s event back in July and we amazed at how well he knew his stuff and that he basically knew what was going on with every player someone asked him about. He was a real, unexpected treat to talk to and hope he becomes a permanent guest speaker at future events.

This is our last “high media” segment on Blogger’s Day. We’ll do a final wrap up in the next day or two with our overall thoughts.

Volume up, Quicktime armed.

ENTER: Mark Scialabba



SCIALABBA ON: Derek Norris

SCIALABBA ON: Derek Norris and Jesus Flores

SCIALABBA ON: Calling up prospects

SCIALABBA ON: Winning and development

SCIALABBA ON: Five recent International signings

The Dynamic Duo Speak

Of all the Blogger’s Day events, meeting with president Stan Kasten and GM Mike Rizzo was the most anticipated. Their sessions are always informal, yet professional, informative, but not boring. And as you will tell from our footage: they have great fashion sense.

Bloggers love to question these guys and some of the best material of the day comes out of these two. We had over 19 video clips, but we cut the questions down to what we figure were the most interesting nine.

As before, you will need Quicktime to view these vids.

KASTEN ON: Media technology and speed of (mis)information.

RIZZO ON: Cristian Guzman

RIZZO ON: How his special week went.

RIZZO ON: How he approaches the GM job.

RIZZO ON: Vets and setting the winter stage.

RIZZO ON: The core of the team.

RIZZO ON: Targeting talent on the Pacific Rim.

RIZZO ON: When Stephen Strasburg will arrive.

KASTEN ON: Not going after a #1 starter.