Nationals Inquisition

Ken Rosenthal has tweeted that former Nationals closer Chad “The Chief” Cordero has agreed to a minor league deal with the New York Mets.

Oh God, Chief. Say it ain’t so.

Cordero was a fan favorite in D.C. and a monster closer for the team as he collected 113 saves from 2005-2007 and won the National League Rolaids Relief Man of the Year Award in 05.’ In 2008 Cordero was recovering from a labrum tear when, as with pretty much everything he touched, GM-at-the-time Jim Bowden soured the Nats/Cordero relationship when he announced on the radio Cordero was being non-tendered without even telling Cordero or his representatives first. Angered, Cordero moved on to the Mariners with little success and became a free agent just last week.

Cordero also spawned the flat-brimmed hat revolution in D.C.

The NQ loved this guy. He is still the only National to be immortalized by McFarlane Toys. Would we have liked to see Cordero back with the Nats? Maybe. It wouldn’t be any worse than getting all nostalgic-like with Livan Hernandez. Any team that can tolerate having Doug Slaten, Logan Kensing, Joel Hanrahan or Brian Bruney in the bullpen can certainly tolerate another round of Cordero. But, alas, he might one day now wear the pinstripes lite.

Screw you, Jim Bowden. Chief, come home. Omar Minaya does not love you.

Two words are being used  a lot around NQ Headquarters lately: utter boredom. God, I hate the All-Star Break. Just no real big news or drama going on and my staff is laying around in my various torture contraptions for basically free. If there wasn’t a game tonight, I’d waterboard them all.

Of course, you might consider 2010 #1 Draft Pick Bryce Harper being not interested in the oodles of money he is about to make or two Nats minor leaguers suspended for going Balco Bonds on Ritalin as drama, but frankly I am more interested in Mel Gibson’s recent freak outs– and where Robert Fick is.

Seven or eight Nats fans might remember utility player Robert Fick. The man with the fiery red hair served as a first baseman and catcher throughout his nearly decade long Major League career. His most notable moments came as a Detroit Kitty, hitting the last hit in old Tigers Stadium and as an Atlanta Brave when he slapped the catching arm of Cubs’ first baseman Eric Karros just as Karros was catching a throw as Fick ran to first base which put a bit of a black spot on his career.

Fick played with the Nationals in 2006 and 2007. He was not the most impressive or memorable player, but he was always feisty, wanted to play in big moments and on occasion was very clutch. He was pretty fan friendly too. Oh, and who can forget that he was once a child actor, appearing as an extra on Cheers, Who’s The Boss? and Webster. He was even in a Gatorade commercial. I’d love to see that footage.

So where is Robert Fick now?

According to the North County Times, Robert Fick is three years removed from baseball. After not getting picked up by the Nats or any Major League team after the 2007 season, Fick briefly played for the Orange County Flyers of the Golden Baseball League, but soon found retirement due to personal problems with drinking and gambling. Fick on retirement from baseball:

“… I didn’t go out on my own terms. I don’t like to admit it, but I was dealing with a few things at the time of my retirement. I didn’t think I had a drinking problem, but I did and I also had a gambling problem. I feel like guys kind of gave up on me. People knew I could still hit and I knew the game, but maybe they felt I wasn’t accountable enough. But that’s all changed, I haven’t had a drink or gambled in 2 1/2 years and I have two kids now and I’m a totally different guy. I appreciate everything a lot more. You live and learn, and it’s all good. I love being with my kids way more than I love playing baseball.”

Good for Fick. The game is still with him though as he and ex-Major Leaguer David Lamb travel around California holding clinics for Little Leaguers via their Pro Players Clinic which they founded (Fick uses his Nats Gameday photo on the site).

“I still wanted to be involved in the game and I felt I had a lot to give back. I just don’t want to ride the bus in minor leagues. There is nothing better than being on the field. Plus, who wants to work a real job. I want to be on the field, teaching the kids and teaching them the fundamentals.”

Maybe Mike Rizzo should give Pro Players Clinic a call. The current team needs all the help they can get when it comes to fundamentals. Interestingly enough, Fick was asked who he considered his best baseball friend (BBF 4EVA) and his answer: Nationals infielder Adam Kennedy.

Yet another blast from the past on the NQ. This is what we do in our down time. Nats baseball resumes tonight. Thank God.

He is playing with this guy right here– and with the Newark (N.J.) Bears of the Independent Atlantic League.

It is an orgy of Nats nostalgia in New Jersey, missing only one Carlos Baerga.

Jesus Conrad Christ, which one of my staff members comes up with these images? It is almost getting to the point of silliness and where there is silliness, there is usually THIS GUY and THIS GUY.

I guess you should expect a little bit of craziness during Mr. Miyagi Week. It comes with the territory. This blog also comes with–

Your Nationals Dispatch.

Which Way Did They Go, Boss? – The Nationals were nutblasted by the San Diego Padres last night 7-1. Friar pitcher Mat Latos was all over the Nats while Nationals Luis Atilano couldn’t put it together.

If you receive a postcard in the mail from Suck City it most likely came from the Nationals offense who seem to vacation there a lot.

He Was So Screwed – Or so says about 98% of Natstown. Third baseman Ryan Zimmerman fell short in his bid to be the NL Final Vote All-Star, losing to Cincinnati Reds first baseman and nobody Joey Votto.

This is punishment from the Baseball Gods for Gary Majewski. Screw you so bad, JimBo.

If It Isn’t Bryce Harper… - Does anyone really, totally care if anyone else gets drafted and signed? I know THIS GUY does, but I suppose we should drink one for outfielders Kevin Keyes, Randolph Oduber and shortstop Kevin Hague who agreed to terms with the Nats from the 2010 First Year Player’s Draft.

Welcome aboard, Mr. Harper. I hope you enjoy– oops, sorry. That is Kevin Hague from RICE. Silly me. I have Bryce on the brain and they rhyme.

God Made Strasburg In His Image – Nationals Triple-A affiliate the Syracuse Chiefs will be giving away Stephen Strasburg action figures to continue to cash in commemorate Strasburg’s epic, but brief time in Syracuse. The first 3,000 ticket buying fans of the game on August 27th against Buffalo will receive a voucher and first dibs.

eBay better prepare to be flooded with these. They sort of remind me of a cross between a bobblehead and those Staring Lineup Action Figures of the 80s and 90s. Those figures all looked the same except for Eddie Murray who looked like he was molded into the meanest Black Panther in the Universe.

How The Hell Did We Miss This? – We totally missed this story earlier in the week, but we thought it still was worth mentioning, but earlier this week former Nationals first baseman and Comeback Player of the Year, Dmitri Young was nabbed in an Illinois airport with marijuana in his bag. Young told the press that he has been using the herb for medicinal purposes tied to the aches and pains of his days as a player and his Type 2 diabetes.

It might surprise long time readers of this blog that we actually really do believe him. But isn’t Young beginning to sound like the Big Lebowski? Sloth, drunk-like and jay smoking. One must wonder when he tokes up, does he get visions of swimming with marmots and having Flea cut off his johnson?

And that is Your Nationals Dispatch.

The Washington Nationals unconditionally released  outfielder Willy Taveras on Friday afternoon. Taveras was part of the right-field platoon with Willie Harris, but was quickly replaced by Michael Morse after only one game and since then the Nationals hadn’t really figured out what to do with him. Willy only got nine at-bats in the month of May with the Nats.

I just wanted to say, ‘Thank you.’ I’m going to act like a real professional about it,” Taveras said in reaction to being taken off the 25-man roster. “Let’s see what happens. I didn’t get the chance I would have liked. They had to make a move, and that’s OK. I haven’t played much either. I don’t know what to say.”

I don’t know what to say either. This really wasn’t a big shocker and the Nats aren’t going to sink with or swim without the crafty veteran. I debated posting this at all, but then I found all I really wanted to do was post this so I could show you this really nice Willy Taveras photo I had in my files. I didn’t want it to go to waste.

Okay, honestly, I just wanted to show off a bit. I want you all to like me.

There is nothing more relaxing in my opinion than going through, sorting, fondling and organizing the baseball cards in your collection. Those who read this blog know I am an avid Washington Nationals card collector, but I also have thousands of other cards that are sitting in boxes waiting to be put in sleeves.

The other day, while relaxing, I came upon this Upper Deck 1993 jewel of former National Vinny Castilla.

Seriously, is there someone that looks at these things before mass printing them? If they are going to let something as hilarious as this pass the censors you might as well use the player’s embarrassing High School yearbook pictures.

So last night, former Nats pitcher Mike Bacsik (the guy who kicked his team in the nuts by giving up Balco Bonds’ historic homerun) went on a drunken rant on his Twitter account blasting the NBA, David Stern and all the “dirty mexicans in San Antonio.”

That must have been a wild night in the Bacsik household.

All comments related to mexicans, blow jobs, cancer and suicide were deleted. However, moments ago “Bacsik” issued an apology on his Twitter showing not only was he horribly “insensitive” but a horrible speller as well:

MikeBacsik: I’m sorry for my horriblly insinsitive tweet last night about the hispanic comm. in San Antonio. I apoligize and I hope u can forgive me.

This Twitter account is not confirmed as of yet so this might be one big scam, but it is looking more and more like this is the real deal.

If so, shame on the American educational system for letting him pass sixth grade English.

UPDATE - Bacsik must be reading the Tweets today because he just re-issued his apology fixing all his grammatical errors.

UPDATE 2: Bacsik suspended from his radio gig. So it is true– Mike Bacsik is a douchebag.

In a completely specious report, it is found that when the Washington Nationals either win or remain competitive, the mood in D.C. improves by 55%. That is an astounding number tagged to an astounding amount of bliss. It also is the jersey number of Matt Capps who has played a major role in causing all the mirth. Anti-depression prescriptions are down, bar tabs are up and more orgasms are achieved.

It is a great time to be a Nats fan. Yeah, they aren’t the Yanks or major contenders so many a baseball fan outside the Curly W circle might not understand or realize why a Nats fan has an extra spring to their step lately. But we know, we as Nats fans know. We are like a jolly bunch of Freemasons gloating about how we know who Jack the Ripper is, but we aren’t telling. Knowledge is power. It is a great time to be a Nats fan and it is a great time for–

Your Nationals Dispatch.

Low Score, Nats Score Big – In what must have been a tremendously tense game, the Nationals scored one run in the bottom of the first inning of the rubber match game against the Dodgers and were able to preserve that run for the 1-0 win. Scott “The Wolf” Olsen pitched seven shutout innings while Matt Capps pitched a suspenseful, yet masterful final inning for his league leading eighth save of the season. Adam Dunn scored the only run of the game.

So the box score looked something like this: 1-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-x. That always seems insane to me. I pay good money for seats and the game is over in the first inning. Of course, in years past the game was over in the first inning in the bad way. The way where the Nats lose. And no one likes that way– unless you are a sadist.

“We’re Done With All That Nonsense” – Says Scott Olsen on the past years losing. The major media is starting to do an about face on the Nats. You can find plenty of ass-kissing articles on those “lowly Nats” including one from the WP’s Gloomy Boz.

Personally, if I was the Nats, I’d grab a six-pack and sit on the porch with a .22 rifle, shoot a few crows and mail the bodies to the big media writers. I’d even include a couple ketchup packets.

Mike Bacsik Might Be Cracked – We have no confirmation it is really him, but former Nats pitcher and sports memorabilia convention troll-fodder Mike Bacsik (or someone pretending to be him) was on Twitter yesterday completely going off the hook with tweets like:

Stern must promise to suck refs offs if they call the game against Mavs. This is bull***t

If I get cancer and I’m going to die I wil blow NBA offices

Congrats to all the dirty mexicans in San Antonio

“Bacsik” also later apologized for his “dirty mexican” comment followed by the declaration that he was going to kill himself. This, of course, has all been deleted from the Twitter overnight. For his sake, here is hoping it really isn’t him because if it is, he is even a bigger douche than originally thought.

One Epic Blog Fail – Blogging isn’t an exact science, I’d be the first to tell you. But like losing 100-games two seasons in a row, you really have to try to fail at it. Jesse Motiff on the Bleacher Report totally accomplishes this when he writes:

The Nationals don’t have a need for [Nyjer] Morgan. They are so far away from competing on a regular basis; they simply need to acquire as much young talent as possible for the coming years. The Brewers could likely acquire Morgan for one or two mid-level prospects.

I’m sure by posting this I have caused a good portion of D.C. to go into laughing fits. EPIC FAIL AT SPORTS BLOGGING. Rather than end the Dispatch on such a fail-note, we’ll let you watch a Tony Plush epic win.

And that is Your Nationals Dispatch.

The NQ is up in Northern Virginia this weekend to spend time with friends, family and to celebrate the first birthday of Little Miss DangerNat. It is great to be near the epicenter of the Nationals Kingdom. We’ve only just arrived a few hours ago and it is refreshing seeing Nats shirts, Nats hats and various Nats car bumper stickers and magnets. I’m sporting my Strasburg player t-shirt and I have gotten a lot of looks and have talked to a few fans wondering where it came from. Viera, my good friends, Viera, Florida and Spring Training. I can feel the love.

If you aren’t feeling the love or have never loved, don’t worry. Former Nationals outfielder Elijah Dukes has got some for you.

Dukes reached out to the fan base through the conduit known as Bill Ladson and his “All Nats All The Time” blog and issued a message to D.C. and the Nationals:

I really want to tell the fans of DC, Jim Bowden and Mike Rizzo thanks a lot for helping me out in many ways. I really grew up a lot because of those two guys. I also want to give a hug to Harolyn Cardozo and Willie Harris for the time that I needed people the most. A special thanks to them.

Can’t really say anything about this other than: your welcome, Dukes. Good luck in future endeavors–

Okay, I lied. I do have something to say about this:

Saying you grew more mature thanks to Jim Bowden is like saying you learned how to hunt from watching Elmer Fudd cartoons. I’m just saying…

I feel almost embarrassed that I missed this story. Seriously. How could I miss it? It involves a guy almost as large as the sun.

Fat jokes aside because they are in poor taste even though the Nats made him richer than any teacher or police officer in the country, former Nationals first baseman Dmitri Young recently announced that he is retiring from playing baseball after 13 seasons of hitting and catching baseballs, abuse, alcoholic binges, Comeback Awards and screwing a Major League team out of $10 million.

Young was the troubled, diabetic first baseman of the Washington Nationals who was sort of an oddity. He had a less than stellar past, but yet seemed as cuddly as a teddy bear and seemed willing to help the Nationals get back on their feet. He was even named unofficial mentor to the now exiled outfielder Elijah Dukes. In 2008 Dmitri won the MLB’s “Comeback Player of the Year” Award which was seen as a new beginning to a recharged career, however in 2009 Young’s problem with diabetes completely knocked him out of the Nationals plans. While the Nats went through a season from hell, Young remained in Florida supposedly training and regaining his health while buying over $700 worth of wine and cigars at local Viera booze joints. On top of that, Young was enjoying the $10 million contract the Nats mindlessly gave to him to play baseball. Of course, Young never returned to the playing field for the Nationals or any team for that matter.

Young is now the Vice President and Senior Advisor of Baseball Operations and Special Hitting and Fielding Instructor of the Oakland County Cruisers of Frontier League Baseball.

The re-signing of Dmitri Young easily was one of the Top 3 Worst Decisions the franchise ever had up to this point. The wool was completely pulled over their eyes and it was a tremendous waste of resources. It was an obvious boneheaded idea, but considering the GM at the time it shouldn’t be a surprise why it happened.

Well happy trails, Young. Good luck in the Frontier League, whatever that is.

Doesn’t Daniel Boone and Davey Crockett play for that league?