Nationals Inquisition

Cry Baby 1, originally uploaded by McSkeeter.

Sportswriters I find are a cowardly bunch. They are not capable of producing a single, original thought that they can call their own. I imagine their inner circle is comparable to a sleep over of high school cheerleaders where they do each other’s hair and decide who is cute and who is not.

I say this because since the Johan Santana trade I’ve been hearing the same thing from all of them: The Mets Are Back! I wasn’t planning on even mentioning this trade on this blog because it does not pertain to an important team like the Washington Nationals but then I read this piece by Thom Loverro from the Washington Times and decided that enough is a enough.

I’m going to be the first to say it: To hell with Johan Santana.

The Mets are being wheeled out as some sort of genius for this signing but really, the best pitcher in baseball is available: Who wouldn’t want to sign him? Its really a no brainer. All that prevents any team from doing it is price and prospects and the Mets certainly paid heavy in both. Omar “The Sponge” Minaya once again drains the team’s resources and farm system. He is a franchise killer (see Expos) and it is a fact the Mets fans are going to learn the hard way. Whack it hard enough, that instant gratification can blind you. Add the fact that the Mets bullpen is questionable, the health of the rest of the rotation is questionable, and that the line-up is beginning to look like Bingo Night at the VFW, then the team from NY doesn’t seem that scary, well, not as scary as the sportswriters make them out to be.

As Nats fans, we shouldn’t be scared. We’ve faced Santana before and we beat him. Hell, we threw a snot nosed pitcher named Levale Speigner at him and we beat him. We were horrid in nearly every offensive statistic and we still beat him. Santana is not unbeatable and we shouldn’t give in to the pansy sportswriters and believe it to be so.
When he comes to DC to face us he will be facing a whole new team with potentially more offensive punch. Screw Santana.

Omar The Sponge will burn Santana out. That NY market will chew him up. He becomes another easy out. The Mets will still be formidable and they will be in the mix, but we can make pancakes out of them. We did last season. We put the butter on their historic collapse. We can do it again. Santana or no Santana. To hell with him. LET’S LIGHT HIM UP!!!

Take that Loverro, you coward.

UPDATE: The New York Times knows what I am talking about.

Johnny Estrada, originally uploaded by Mike Boehmer.

I am sick as a dog today but thankfully it isn’t over this:

Johnny Estrada is signing a one year $1.25 million dollar deal with the Nats. Estrada, 31, is a catcher who has a lifetime average of .280 in seven major league seasons.

Not a bad signing at that price and time. We need a catcher. A catcher with “magic knees, Lt. Dan!” JimBo denies this is in response to Paul Lo Duca’s knee tweak. Yeah right. Lo Duca is TOAST. His career is TOAST. His time in DC is TOAST. In fact, from this day forward, Paul Lo Duca is now known as “Toast.”

This news means to look for Estrada and Jesus Flores to take over catching duties during ST. If Toast can get back in time, him and Estrada will begin the 08′ campaign with Jesus Flores spending time in the minors to further develop.

I am tired writing about Toast. Why doesn’t Milledge release a new album or Wily Mo get robotic arm transplants to make him more powerful than any creature on earth? That is exciting stuff. Not Toast. Go away Toast.

Paul Lo Duca, originally uploaded by Michael G. Baron.

Paul Lo Duca’s luck continues to go right down the “Plop – Jon.”

FOX Sports.com reports that Lo Duca’s “tweak in the knee” is a minor meniscus tear. Lo Duca is expected to go under the knife TODAY to repair it. It will take four to six weeks to heal but there is an expectation that he will be ready for Opening Day.

Crap. I mean, crap. So this guy is going to miss all of Spring Training possibly and we aren’t going to get a good look at him. Looks like we are going to see a lot more of Jesus Flores (which is good) and possibly have to look for some sort of backup, catching, relief. I hate going into a campaign with one catcher. It just isn’t smart.

Yeah, he’ll probably be back by OD but still. Injury has been a constant thorn in Washington’s side and while we might not need letters on lockers declaring late payments on roids because his phone is TOAST, we do need Lo Duca’s bat.

A catcher with knee problems. Cripes. Lo Duca’s only hope is that his knees hold out until the big game where he calls his shot, bunts down the line, brings home the winning run, and then goes home and sleeps with Rene Russo a la Major League. But I wouldn’t count on it.

Space Coast Stadium, originally uploaded by natsnq.

After pulling some strings, it looks like the NQ will be going to Spring Training after all. We were able to pull our resources together, threaten the right people, and gave the right bribes so that we will be in Florida for two Nats games this March. Those games are:

March 1st vs. Orioles
March 3rd vs. Cardinals
(We’ve seem to have a bird theme going here)

Miss Natpenny and myself will be coming down in an RV. We are also bringing OddNat who we are determined to introduce Nats baseball to, get him excited, and get him to swear off being a closet case Braves fan.

Tickets for ST went on sale on Saturday at 9am. It sort of was a mess. The phone reps were completely disorganized and we had to several times tell them to check again because they denied Nats games happening on certain days. The rep was like, “What time is the game?” I don’t know. YOUR the one with the tickets and are getting paid to do this. I felt like we sold the tickets to her!

I am also pissed that the exhibition game at new Nationals Park is basically a closed event for season ticket holders and construction worker families. What bullcrap. A lot of these jerks are already selling their tickets on Ebay for horrific prices and they won’t let a loyal fan from NC get one ticket.

Well, I guess they can make it up to me later… by winning the NL East.

Alex “The Glass Slipper” Escobar is back. Just when you think you scratched that little itch, it comes back with a vengeance and you realize you have hives.

Escobar has been signed to a non-guaranteed minor league contract, says Nationals.com, and he will be at ST competing for a job. This will be Escobar’s fourth year with the Nats.

Job? Job? What job? This guy has sat around and done nothing for four years making more money than my kidneys are worth. The front office can’t be serious about putting this guy in the outfield again. A blade of grass might slice his leg off! I know we have some injury prone players on the team (what team doesn’t?) but Alex freaking ESCOBAR?! There is a reason no other team would take this guy!

Ugh. This sucks. Even though we came to terms with 12 other players: Jason Bergmann, Matt Chico, Tyler Clippard, Shawn Hill, Joel Hanrahan, Enrique Gonzalez, Saul Rivera, Roger Bernadina, Elijah Dukes, Garrett Guzman, Justin Maxwell and Jesus Flores this Escobar thing gives me a headache. Why do we continue to sign this guy? I’m going to give the staff the weekend off, take two Advil then go to Roanoke, VA to party. I will be back Sunday night.

Paul Lo Duca signs autographs, originally uploaded by Michael G. Baron.

It must suck to be Paul Lo Duca right now. First your friend turns on you, now this. Nationals.com reports that Lo Duca has suffered a knee injury while working out in a gym in NY. It is unknown at this time if this “tweak” will affect him and his Spring Training campaign, his first in Washington uniform. Lo Duca was prominently named in the Mitchell Report and early this week his friend, Mets third baseman David Wrigh,t said Lo Duca deserves consequences for his actions and role in the steroid scandal.

I can tell you what it is. Karma. Pure karma. Anyone who puts on a Mets uniform will one day pay for it in spades, I guarantee. Anyone who formerly played on the Mets must be purified. Crystals must be hung over their heads and they must be bathed in the holy waters of the Dead Sea.

David Wright doesn’t condone steroid use and therefore does not condone the actions of his friend Washington Nationals catcher Paul Lo Duca. Wright and Lo Duca still maintain a friendship but Wright told ESPN that if Lo Duca truly used steroids as reported in the Mitchell Report, then Lo Duca deserves a “harsh penalty.”

“He’s a guy I’d go to battle for any day. But when you’re talking about steroids, you’re talking about something that’s illegal. No matter how close a friend, I can’t condone steroids.”

That arrogant jackass! That self-righteous turd! Scum! Swine! Who the hell does David Wright think he is judging a player on another team?! He is just jealous that the Mets are going down the crapper, the NY market is a meat grinder, and the fans are animals! When he talks of such a highly talented player such as….wait a minute…who are we talking about? Paul Lo Duca? Oops, nevermind.

Lo Duca might be a Nat but he is also a cheater who soiled the game. He bit the hand that fed him and now he needs to pay for it. It might not come in the form of harsh penalties from the likes of Bud Selig and cronies but it will come somehow, someway. David Wright has every right to say what he did. Lo Duca should expect it. Lo Duca should know he deserves it and whatever mud people fling at him. Time to pay the piper.

If as fans we are really irate over this, don’t worry. We will kick the Mets ass this season and Ryan Zimmerman will be the starting 3B in the All-Star game. Take that, David “Smacktalkin” Wright. Life will find a way. Thank you, Jeff Goldblum. Chaos theory rocks!

RFK in Washington, DC, originally uploaded by indiepepe.

Confirmed via Nationals.com Press Release: the Nats farm system has jumped in rank from #30 to #9 in the Baseball Prospect Handbook from Baseball America. It is the second largest jump for a team this decade. (The Nats jumped 21 spots, the Texas Rangers 24)

So the Kasten Plan is moving along nicely. A lot of people thought it was a bunch of sweet, sugar tasting Kool-Aid Kasten was feeding us to make us settle on a mediocre team. If the Kool Aid is working this well then pour me another cup so I can get big and strong! Let everyone else chew the Flintstones Vitamins and use the Gazelle.

I’m using Muscle Milk, protein, and HGH! I’m in the zone!

Belliard/Logan, originally uploaded by natsnq.

A Nationals.com Press Release announces that a partnership has been reached with Gifford’s Ice Cream & Candy Co. who will sell their goodies at new Nationals Park until 2011. The company was founded in Silver Spring, MD. They plan to unveil a unique ice cream treat at the Home Opener that has been named “The Dinger.” Mike Bascik (isn’t he a minor leaguer?) and Tim Redding will be scooping ice cream at Gifford’s Downtown shop on January 24th.

The press release also states:

Since it’s creation in 1938, Gifford’s has been using the finest ingredients to serve homemade super-premium ice cream and candy, with classic rich, creamy tastes that hark back to earlier times. The founder, John Nash Gifford, spent years perfecting his recipes to ensure the highest quality and unique flavors. Gifford’s now has four stores throughout the metro area, in Bethesda, Chevy Chase and Rockville, MD as well as a Downtown Washington, DC location.

I know this isn’t the most amazing thing ever. I’m sorry. To make it up to you I’ve posted a picture of a helicopter coming into Space Coast Stadium. Its sort of like Die Hard except without the explosions and Bruce Willis.

King/Young, originally uploaded by natsnq.

The Prospect Blog over at Baseball America announced the release of their Prospect Handbook which includes the listing of where all 30 MLB teams stressed drafting, signings, etc. Since 29 other teams just don’t matter, we will concentrate on the Washington Nationals.

The tallies for the Nats Top 30:

High School: 12
College: 9
Trade: 4
International: 2
Draft/Follow: 1
Rule 5: 1
Junior College: 1

What does it all mean? It means that around 10 Nats in the system are currently avid Pink Floyd listeners, 12 Nats are still stuck on Emo music, and about 8 are hiding their musical choices so that either means they are “so underground” or they are Hannah Montana fans.

MLB Homeplate on XM 175 supposedly has said that the Nats farm system has risen in the ranks of farm systems, from 30th to 9th in all the MLB in one year’s time: the largest growth ever. This is still a rumor and once it is written and confirmed, we will oogle, drool, point fingers, and make fun of teams 10-30 without mercy. But if true, that is just plain amazing and exciting. It would be evidence that the Kasten Plan is working and the future is looking good for the Nats. Or it could just be lunchroom gossip and we still have Chris Marrero, Cloverfield, and Josh Smoker.

That is the most number crunching this site has so far endured. It is so tiring yet, satisfying. It’s like having sex with a math book.