Mike Rizzo Tries To Be Brad Pitt And Signs Mark Teahen

Last week the Washington Nationals shocked the world by signing pitcher Edwin Jackson (who shunned the Pirates to come to the Nats) and then flipped the bird to Philadelphia fans who still can’t understand why no one likes them. Everyone braced for a follow-up this week and it finally arrived Monday afternoon as the next logical step is of course to sign infielder Mark Teahen to a minor league deal with an invite to Spring Training.

Yeah, that Mark Teahen. He is still around. Last season, in 27 games with the Toronto Blue Jays Teahen totally Mendoza’d out with a soul crushing .190 batting average. He can play multiple positions however and is viewed as nothing more than another warm body trying to root himself onto the Nationals bench.

Really… Edwin Jackson to Mark Teahen. The Nationals certainly know how to run the gantlet of transactions.

Rumor has it GM Mike Rizzo got this idea after he read some book called “Moneyball” written by Brad Pitt who also recently portrayed himself in the movie of the same name. In the book, Teahen was supposed to become the next Jason Giambi.

This no doubt excited Rizzo and Rizzo looks in the mirror and thinks he looks like Brad Pitt so he put two and two together and waa-la!

We are lions!

Nationals Sign Rick Ankiel, Hopes His Billy Baroo Can Do It Again

“Davey, this calls for the old Billy Baroo… Oh, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy…ha-hoo, Billy, Billy- this is a big one. Don’t let me down, Billy. I just signed a minor league contract with an invite…to…Spring…Training, Billy. Ahhhhh-ha-ha, Billy…”

While we are on this theme, have you heard the one about the Jew, the Catholic and the colored boy?

It’s a doozy!