Cole Hamels Thinks Being A Douchebag Is Old-School Prestigious – Update

Above is video of Nationals rookie outfielder phenom Bryce Harper stealing home on Cole Hamels and the Philadelphia Phillies on Sunday night. Yes, you read that right. He stole home. I thought that sort of thing only happened in the movies. It was a move of incredible balls and talent. Please enjoy.

What makes Harper stealing home even more satisfying was the fact it was on Phillies pitcher Cole Hamels who during Harper’s first at-bat, drilled the young phenom with a 94 mph fastball. Harper took full advantage of his free pass as he advanced to third on a Jayson Werth single and then put the Nationals on the board with the first run of the game with his steal.

That should be the end of the story right there. Hamels hit Harper, Harper embarrassed Hamels. It should be all good, except at the end of the game Hamels confessed to hitting Harper on purpose. Of course, depending on who you ask, the reactions have been different. If you ask a Philly fan what he/she thought of Hamels comments they of course see nothing wrong with being a complete and total douchebag out to hurt other players. Ask a Nationals fan and they are furious and want Hamels disciplined by MLB.

But it is so odd. Why would Hamels do such a boneheaded thing? It isn’t totally clear, but the best explanation we can figure comes from the Philadelphia Enquirer and Deadspin.com:

I was trying to hit him. I’m not going to deny it. It’s something I grew up watching. That’s what happened. I’m just trying to continue the old baseball. Some people get away from it. I remember when I was a rookie, the strike zone was really, really small and you didn’t say anything. That’s the way baseball is. Sometimes the league is protecting certain players. It’s that old-school prestigious way of baseball.

Oh, so Hamels was just protecting an old-school prestigious way of baseball. He was just being traditional drilling another player with a 94 mph fastball. Oh, now I understand. No, it is totally okay now– Cole Hamels is a douchebag.

What an absolute douche and coward. Who the hell is Hamels to enforce such a “traditional, prestigious old-school way of baseball?” What a piece of sh*t. He totally had this planned going into the game. He did. The fact he decided to suddenly pull this ridiculous stunt on this past Natitude Weekend against the first place team of the NL East (suck on that, Hamels) and to their hottest rookie player– he knew what he was doing.

Fitting he is a Philadelphia Phillies player. That team and city seems to breed rats and douchebags. I thought no one could be a bigger douche than Chase Utley after he took out Jesus Flores’ knees in 2008, but Hamels proves me wrong. Natstown wants justice from MLB, but I doubt they will get it considering Hamels and the Phillies are part of those “protected players” Hamels rants against. What an absolute coward…

I’m not going to say it is okay, because it isn’t, but what does Bryce Harper have to say about it? Nationals.com:

“[I'm not mad] at all,” Harper said. “He is a great guy, great pitcher, he knows how to pitch, he is an All-Star. It’s all good. … Hamels threw a good game tonight. You have to give all the props to him. He came out there, he threw the ball well. There is nothing we can do about it.”

Wow. Harper takes the absolute high road. Hard to see who the rookie is in this situation. Harper looks like an upstanding, young Major League baseball player. Hamels looks like– an asshole.

Looks like Harper stole home on Hamels– again.

UPDATE: I am almost wanting to completely delete the post above and just replace everything with the words of General Manager Mike Rizzo on the subject. INSANELY great quotes and we totally agree with every one of them. Here is our favorite:

“Cole Hamels says he’s old school? He’s the polar opposite of old school. He’s fake tough. He thinks he’s going to intimidate us after hitting our 19-year rookie who’s eight games into the big leagues? He doesn’t know who he’s dealing with.”

I have a new respect for Mike Rizzo today.

Beard Broken

Nationals.com reports that Nationals outfielder Jayson Werth has suffered a broken wrist, a clean break, during the Nationals 9-3 loss to the Philadelphia Phillies on Sunday night. Werth was attempting to make a sliding catch in right field when he pile drived his left hand into the ground and immediately reacted in extreme pain. Nationals.com:

“We seem to be getting a little … healthier and — boom,” [Manager Davey] Johnson said. “One of our main guys goes down. We dealt with it before. We’ll deal with it again. … That was a tough blow. I was anxious to get a lot of the guys back on Tuesday.”

Werth is expected to be out six weeks if not more. He will see a specialist to determine what comes next.

I’ll tell you what comes next: an outfield platoon of Roger Bernadina and Xavier Nady and that is as exciting as– I don’t know. I haven’t had my coffee this morning and I’m feeling uncreative. But it is going to be boring and more of a strain on a line up that already isn’t guaranteed to collect hits.

Jesus, what is with this team and injuries? Did they piss on the Honey Bunches of Oats of the Baseball Gods? Do they have a black cat as a clubhouse pet? Maybe they all walk under a ladder as they go down the tunnel of the dugout?

Whatever the case, call a priest. Not only should he perform an exorcism on home plate at Nationals Park, but he can lead us all in what we should be doing:

Praying.