If Only This Was A Reality Show

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Like any true-blooded lazy American, I like to spend my nights with a bourbon in hand and selfishly wasting away on my couch in front of the boob tube. Unfortunately, aside from a few sporting events, the Deadliest Catch and pornography, the programs these days are terrible. There isn’t one satisfying show that I watch religiously. The last great show to ever grace the idiot box was the X-Files which was broadcast in the ’90s. I have all nine seasons and one of the feature films on DVD.

The other night I was partaking in alien conspiracy, that was mighty similar to Nationals Front Office gossip, when I came upon an episode in Season 6 called “The Unnatural.” It was only mere minutes into the episode when I suddenly spilled my drink all over myself, stood up and shouted, “Holy Jesus, those are the Homestead Grays!”

Actually, in the show it was the “Roswell Grays” but as you can see from my screen grabs, those are the uniforms of the old negro league heroes, the Homestead Grays who originated in Pittsburgh, but adopted Washington D.C. as their “home away from home,” many times sharing Griffith Stadium with the old Washington Senators.

The plot of this particular show was agent Fox Mulder sees an old picture from the Roswell Grays that supposedly has an alien bounty hunter pictured. He locates an old friend who served as a cop assigned to protecting the Grays most valuable player at that time from being the target of a hate crime. That player turns out to be an alien himself. In fact, it is found that all great baseball players from the Babe to Joe DiMaggio were all secretly aliens because, really, who could play the game like they did? At the end of the episode, Mulder and Scully share a moment while Mulder sports a Josh Gibson Grays jersey.

It was an amusing and heartwarming romp into cosmic craziness written and directed by David Duchovny that has such a taste of baseball, it probably should be included in the list of must watch baseball movies and shows.

It got me thinking on who on the Nationals might be an alien in disguise. Sadly, I couldn’t think of one player who plays on an extraterrestrial level. However, I am suspicious of Jordan Zimmermann and even possible 2009 #1 Draft Pick Stephen Strasburg. I’m confident that former GM Jim Bowden was an alien as well as CLINT, but those two come from a lower sort of life form.

Possibly martian bacteria that landed on meteors back in the late ’90s.

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