Nationals Inquisition

I took the weekend off so I know a lot of this you all already know. But where would you be without the cheeky, cynical analysis we provide for you? Probably on the streets doing drugs and committing violence. The NQ is your anti-drug. We should be included in those commercials. You know, the ones where they crack eggs into pans and ask if there are any questions. Or maybe the ones where the father walks into a kid’s room with a cigar box full of paraphernalia and finds out that his kid is a bonehead because he learned it from watching his parents.

That is probably how my kids are going to learn about the NQ. They’ll pick up the nasty habit from me. It is the parent’s fault.

I’m not sure where I was going with this post. I just wanted to get something posted before the next batch of winter weather hits the mountain and the internet signal goes haywire. Sorry for the lack of creativity. If you use anything to excess you are risking problems.

Let’s just get this post DUNN.

Adam Dunn Needs An Extender - The Nationals and slugger Adam Dunn have begun the first steps in discussing a contract extension although the big bear-like outfielder says they are basically at Step Zero in the process. Both Dunn and GM Mike Rizzo expressed their interest in each other at the Nationals Hot Stove Luncheon last week.

Rizzo is probably going to buy Dunn a giant chocolate moose for Valentines Day. You know, to “woo” him because nothing says I love you more than a giant, full-sized chocolate moose. While the fanboy in me says, “yes, yes,” the quiet and sinister baseball mind in me says, “I’m going to be horny at the trade deadline.”

Hudson’s Butt Is A Little Higher – I wish someone would kiss my butt like the Nationals are attempting to do with Orlando Hudson. In the period of about a week Nyjer Morgan, Adam Dunn and pretty much the rest of the team has come out with articles basically begging Hudson to sign with the Nationals. And all signs says he wants to except it all comes down to money. Hudson is looking for a payday around $9 million while the Nats seem to only want to offer him $3 million.

Actually, I don’t want people kissing my butt. Then everyone would see the Bob Short tattoo I have on my left cheek.

Nats Sign A Poet – The Nationals signed pitcher Miguel Batista to a minor league deal with an invite to Spring Training. Batista, 38, can possibly be either a reliever or starter.

That is great, but the more fascinating part of all this is the article refers to Batista as “a poet and novelist.” Some searching turned up some goodies on Batista and his writing career. This guy digs poetry and philosophy so you know he gets all the ladies. He wrote a book called The Avenger of Blood which now I really want to read. This guy is going to be top priority to meet during Spring Training this year. I write a blog, he writes books and poetry. We are brothers!

And Finally, (loud applause)–finally… – The Washington Nationals paid a visit to the Children’s National Medical Center last Saturday to bring the joy and happiness that only jacked professional ballplayers can bring. Manager Jim Riggleman, Tyler Clippard, Ryan Zimmerman, Nyjer Morgan, Josh Willingham, Jason Marquis and Mark Lerner were only some of the names you might recognize. 

The players talked and played Uno with the kids, posed for pictures and gave available advice about life, the big leagues and believing in yourself. However, the mood of the event drastically changed when after snapping the big group photo one of the kids turned around, pulled on Zimmerman’s sleeve, looked up at him and asked, “So which one of you is A-Rod?”

(*Audience laughing and applauding*)

And that is your Nationals Dispatch!