Elijah Dukes Swears He Didn’t Have A Man Purse Of Drugs

I’ve come to the conclusion that Elijah Dukes is a character and he will always have his space on this blog. The troubled former Nationals outfielder is just too bizarre to ignore. Yesterday the Nationals Journal broke the story that the Tampa Tribune would be printing a story this morning about Dukes, who is now trying to become a rapper known as Fly Eli and wanting to come clean about his baseball career which includes some stories of wild debauchery with baseball players and marijuana on airplanes.

The story dropped this morning– and it is even more queer than originally thought.

Dukes claims Major League baseball blackballed him after he supposedly approached them and complained about ballplayers sneaking marijuana and cocaine on to airplanes.

Dukes – who played for the Tampa Bay Rays and Washington Nationals – says he was blackballed by baseball after he came forward last year with allegations that fellow ball players were smuggling drugs onto chartered aircraft, using drugs in hotel rooms after flights and how he would sometimes smoke marijuana before home games when he played for the Washington Nationals.”That is why I ain’t got no job right now,” says Dukes.

I had to stop there to tell you: it gets better. Okay, back to Mr. Fly–

Dukes says he smoked marijuana before some home games while he played in Washington. He says he was feeling peer pressure from other ball players and that other baseball players smuggled drugs onto chartered flights.

“I mean, guys always did. I never did it. But I know when we get to the hotel we were smoking good so it’s like we got to the hotel we were smoking good so you had to bring it. I know I saw people bring it, so it’s like the rules only apply for who they want them to apply for.”

The players, he says, would often smuggle the drugs in “their little man purses. I never did but but most of the guys carried their man purses, you know, Louis Vuitton, Gucci, you know.”

Actually, I have no idea what he is talking about. Gucci man purses? Louis Vuitton fanny-packs? Most people into that sort of thing carry their drug works in a plastic bag from Walmart so Gucci man purses are hard to visualize. Thank God, Dukes himself never carried a drug-filled man purse. He has such flawless character I might have thought less of him if he did.

Of course, the MLB is taking these allegations in stride because they are tickled pink and appreciate Dukes honesty on the matter:

Dukes says he told all this to Dr. Laurence Westreich, a psychiatrist who provided counseling to Dukes as part of Major League Baseball’s employee assistance program. Dukes says he told Westreich about the drugs because he was upset over having been tested for the two years following his own marijuana arrest –tests he says failed to detect that he was still smoking marijuana.

“The allegations made by Mr. Dukes are false,” stated Rob Manfred, MLB’s senior vice president for labor relations and human resources, in an email to the Tribune. “Dr. Westreich did not communicate any information from his conversations with Mr. Dukes to the Nationals or any other club. Despite well reported issues surrounding Mr. Dukes, Commissioner Selig has taken no action that would have affected Mr. Dukes’ ability to secure employment with a Major League Club. And, at no time did Mr. Dukes disclose to Dr. Westreich any information concerning drug use by other Major League players.”

Well, now that THAT is over…

Lets not kid ourselves: I can believe every word he says about other ballplayers smoking pot and doing cocaine. That junk has been around the game forever and to believe Elijah Dukes is the only player to put something in his pipe and smoke it is naive. What is more shocking is Dukes would come out this fast and this brutal about the inner-fraternity of baseball because if he wasn’t blackballed before– he is now. Jose Canseco would be proud.

In November Dukes was arrested and charged for not paying child support to two of his baby’s mamas. During his day in court he said he was retiring baseball to become a better father and to provide for his family. I can’t think of any better way than becoming a rapper. Seriously. Rappers are the pillars of any community they are in, especially when they are spinning their yarns about how Major League Baseball blackballs the common man, being picked on by Major League ballplayers, doing quantities of high quality drugs, man purses and how the police and the world are out to get you. Rappers know how to connect with children and the average joe.

“I got songs that’s gonna come about as far as the struggle I had to overcome about being a black athlete in Tampa, Florida,” he says. “I think Tampa don’t know how to treat athletes with the proper respect. They go after athletes like … an athlete is almost already condemned.”

Okay, Fly Eli. You go and wreck’em. Beat them down with your beats. Your pretty Fly for a high guy.

I bet he really does have a man purse.

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