Livan Hernandez Had to Auction Off Xanadu

More trouble for former Washington Nationals starter Livan Hernandez–

Recently it was discovered the near fossilized Cuban workhorse had to put up a million dollar Miami home for auction and it went for a mere $40,000. This is due to Livo “owing the Bay Point Property Owner’s Association $18,420.84 for property maintenance and assessments dating to Jan. 1, 2009, along with various fees and interest.”

There are more numbers and more irresponsibility, but I think you get the gist of where this is going. Add on the odd relations Hernandez has and already owing Suntrust Bank for a line of credit and we have the making of an absolute weasel or another Elijah Dukes. No, maybe not a Dukes. Dukes wore his rap sheet on his sleeve and didn’t care and there is a sort of tragic honesty in that. Hernandez might be even more sinister as he wove himself into the hearts of D.C. fans and the machinery of the franchise, so much so that some started to refer to him as the sugary sweet nickname “Mr. National.”

This reminds me of that scene in “Citizen Kane” where we moved through the aging, dusty wonder of Xanadu to find it boarded up and everything packed up to be shipped off or sold. In his bed lies Charles Foster Kane, near death and as a snow globe falls from his hand he whispers the name of Rosebud…

You have to wonder what word the currently unemployed Livan Hernandez is whispering as he falls further from grace and buries his once fabled career. Probably, “Miami Marlins…Miami Marlins…Miami Marlins…” I know that team is sucking up everything and every ballplayer into a giant vortex of Bernie’s Gold Dust in the middle of Miami, but I don’t even think they are insane enough to take a risk on him and risk putting a scuff mark on the organization (and stadium) they’ve built for 2012. The guy is sketch.

I hereby decree that Livan Hernandez is stripped of the “Mr. National” moniker. Anyone who is caught using it in reference to Livan Hernandez will be held in contempt…in contempt of this court– or something.

Look, just don’t do it.

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