So you remember that whole “Take Back The Park” thing the Nationals have going to seemingly trying to prevent Philadelphia Phillies fans from invading Nationals Park? I think you know it. It has had Nationals fans thumping their chests and Phillies fans throwing their hands up and slapping air the past week.
If you are like me then you are tired of hearing about this gimmick, this twisted ploy by Andy Feffer and the Nationals Think Tank who are making themselves out to be 300 Spartans against a horde of elephant-riding mutants when in actuality they are just shrewd salesmen taking advantage of minds full of delusion and toxicity up North. If you think they aren’t making a pretty penny off this then you are nuts.
It all came to a head on Thursday afternoon when Pennsylvanian Senator Bob Casey threw the all powerful arm of Congress into the melee with his tweet above. He then followed it up with this explaining why the Great Eye of Law and Equality has turned its gaze to Washington:
Right, Bob, right. Is this really how you spend your time? Do you seriously have nothing to do? “Some of the best fans in the world” throw up on little girls, get fried with tasers and hate Santa Claus and Bobby never speaks up, but someone comes up with a gimmick to maybe rob a few hundred trailer park nutballs who can’t figure their way around this of a weekend vacation they can’t afford and Bobby suddenly has the wolves on us.
Alright, Bobby. Fair move. You go ahead and bring Congress and the whole lot of them into this. You really can’t do anything more to make this anymore embarrassing for both parties. Do it. Sue us. Better yet, bring forth a “Phillies Fan Oppression Bill” and put it through the system.
By the way things are in Congress these days I am sure it will go right through like butter through a goose.