Nationals Finally Deliver The Bombs…Onto Jayson Werth’s Truck

Nationals manager Davey Johnson started playing his potential Opening Day starters (minus those many suffering from ailments currently) on Sunday’s Spring Training game against the Mets and good thing too. The Nationals snapped an 11-game ST losing streak by creaming New York 12-0.

Some guy named Stephen Strasburg pitched five innings of scoreless ball allowing only five hits, one walk and striking out five. A Nationals starter finally got backing from the offense as Ian Desmond, Roger Bernadina and Jayson Werth all went yard in the first inning off some poor sot named Matt Harvey.

Karma probably hit the biggest home run of the day. Werth’s shot was a two-run blast that left the stadium and then implanted itself in the hood of a truck– Jayson Werth’s truck. Don’t worry. Werth has the money to cover the damages.

So the Nats big, bad offense rears its big, beautiful head finally. Is it here to stay? I wouldn’t count on it. I have a feeling it is going to be like a Loch Ness Monster sighting. Eyewitnesses will see some strong movement in the water, maybe a hump or two and then it will disappear with the only evidence it ever happened is some fuzzy long distance video. It doesn’t help the Nats are using a cardboard cutout of an offense thanks to the injuries to Adam LaRoche, Michael Morse and Rick Ankiel.

I just can’t tell you how worrisome this offense is. Really, the stakes are high and it all teeters on the edge of a knife. The Nats and Mike Rizzo really are just depending on the same cast of characters from 2011 who couldn’t hit when they needed to and couldn’t push runs across the plate with a bulldozer. The same cast and they are expected to all of a sudden discover their stroke? They are expected to suddenly “get it?” That is a big risk. Scary stuff, especially considering if any other player goes down with serious injury they have little to no depth to fill the hole.

This team is so fragile. Every slide into a base, every crash into a wall and every strained look on Nats face is going to make me crap myself every time. I expect by season’s end I will have a whole new set of undergarments and spanx.

Thank God I am an Amazon Prime member.

EDITOR’S NOTE: Several of you have asked how I have been doing since our heart-to-heart the other day. Since writing that I have seen a herd of college girls wrapped in nothing but duct tape, one girl running to the bar in nothing but a bikini in the middle of Charlottesville and a Leprechaun.

I am doing great!

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