NATIONALS CLINCH NL EAST TITLE: Beer And Bloating The Morning After

Oh, God…

Sweet Jesus…sweet, sweet, baby– it wasn’t a dream.

A awoke this morning in NQ Headquarters, laying on the floor in nothing but boxers and a t-shirt that had a picture of Top Gun’s Iceman on it. Extra Gold beer cans laid crumpled everywhere, the place looked like a wildebeest love lair, there was a deflated blow up doll in the corner with a tremendous amount of eye black applied to it and all the cages I keep my staff in are empty. This means a mob of delirious drunks, perverts and freaks have been loose on the fair streets for an unknown amount of time. It might be too late already.

Not sure what the last thing I remember is. I remember we put in the movie Highlander and I remember nothing after the scene where that unfortunate actress had to have sex with Christopher Lambert and Sean Connery comes leaping over them on a horse– but that is all I remember.

I do however remember why my night came to that point and you can’t wipe the smile off my face.

The Washington Nationals clinched the 2012 NL East Division title with an exciting 2-0 loss to the former NL East champs, the Philadelphia Phillies. Yeah, you read that right. A loss. A stunning loss where starter John Lannan was a tad bit too hittable and the Nationals offense was puke. However, north in Pittsburgh, the Bucs pulled off a surprise 2-1 victory which systematically, mathematically and officially eliminated the Atlanta Braves chances of catching the Nats for the division.

I won’t lie: it isn’t exactly the magical, Hollywood way to win a division title. Of course you would have loved to see the Nats wipe the floor with the former champs (now chumps) and perhaps biggest rival. I don’t know what it is, maybe it is the basic wear and tear of the season or the slowing power of eventuality, but in my mind the Nats seemed a little shaky closing out the season. They didn’t seem as strong. Hopefully I am wrong and they plow into postseason like a howler monkey on Viagra.

But my God– it took eight years for this to happen. Eight long years. Add in that during those eight long years, five of those years were devoted to this blog. Posting almost everyday, traveling countless hours, spending dough, the constant sex, drugs and rock and roll– it is like almost finishing a marathon.

But plenty of work is still to be done. There are bigger fish to fry than teams 15-games back. WE ARE IN THE POSTSEASON, BABY! NL EAST CHAMPS! Ride the storm and millk it for all it is worth. Riot in the the streets of Natstown, I want a constant riot and party. Fling me some beads, I’ll show you my lumps.

Congratulations to the 2012 Washington Nationals. Call me sometime you big time, NL East champs, you…

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