On one hand you can sort of understand
Florida Devil Ray Marlins Miami manager Ozzie Guillen and his anger issues. I mean, he moved to the Florida Marlins during last off season riding a wave of optimism and hope. Here was a manager who once dumb lucked into a World Series title who signs with a team with a new name, new uniforms and brand new stadium that no one goes to. The Marlins struck first blood during the off season with huge signings, they get the front cover of Sports Illustrated and they are the stars of a reality TV program that no one watches. He got all this and yet his team still sucks.
So you can understand while he might be a bit anal, but it is all his fault and so not all acts of jackassery are completely excusable. Take his latest after the Nationals gave the Miami Marlins a 4-0 shutout on Sunday afternoon:
At the top of the fourth inning during the game Nationals All-Star rookie Bryce Harper stepped to the plate and apparently Guillen started going ape shit over something and talking with Bo Porter, officials and anyone who could stand his chalkboard-scratching rambling. He seemed to believe too much pine tar was too far up Harper’s bat so Harper switched them. Harper made an motion with his bat that Guillen took as Harper pointing to him and only him. So Guillen continued his verbal barrage much to the dismay and confusion of Nats manager Davey Johnson. At one point Guillen could be seen on tape mouthing “f*ck off” or “f*ck off, you c**t” or something of that super intelligent nature to either Johnson or Harper or the invisible people Guillen sees in day to day life.
After the game neither Johnson or Harper would comment on Guillen’s strange and childish antics and surprisingly Guillen also kept silent after the Nationals nailed his team down and gave them another loss that puts them 10 games back in the division behind first place Washington. Oops, I’m sorry. Of course, Guillen had something to say. Federal Baseball:
“‘I could have said a lot of [expletive] about this kid,’” Guillen told the Miami Herald reporter, “‘I’ve been praising this kid like everyday. The last three times they asked me about him, the only thing I said was he’s a great player. What he did [today] was unprofessional.’”
Spoken like a true manager– that is 10 games back and has to wear a hunting outfit 81 games a year. I think I had this awesome speech about taking advice from Ozzie Guillen on “professionalism” and a whole point to what I am saying, but I forgot it.
Nevermind. If it is forgotten then it must not have been important anyway, just like this issue. I file this one under yet another attempt by Ozzie Guillen to be a drama queen and make it look like he is doing something when the results completely say otherwise. Keeping his name in the papers, making it look like he is sticking up for his players when he isn’t placing Fidel Castro on some golden pedestal.
Was the pine tar too high on Harper’s bat? Did Harper “show up” the loud-mouthed old fart? Answer: 10 games. That is all I need to know about this whole issue, 10 games. Johnson and Harper are playing this issue perfectly by staying silent or just shrugging it off and not letting this attention whore feast. Guillen is dropping the ball and embarrassing himself, confused at his inner frustrations.
Maybe that is why his team is so far behind.
(Editor’s Note: The photo above is not Ozzie Guillen. It is a picture of a donkey. This blog is not responsible for any mystical, subconcious connections the reader makes with this presented data.)